To much time, to many emotions, how do you deal with it?

Well today has been one of those days, you know where you feel every emotion possible! It started with a email from a woman that I knew in Hawaii, she was my husband's other woman's friend. She wanted to apologize to me for not telling me the truth when she had the chance. She told me how sorry she was for everything that had happened and for not saying anything. She told me how it was wrong that I was made out to be the villain in the situation and the "other woman" was the victim. Its kind of funny how that happens. I of course told her thanks and excepted her apology and then cried for an hour. See it just doesn't seem to go away. I keep hoping it will but there is always a reminder. So I cry then I get mad at him and then again at her. Because she keeps emailing me....Its great!
Then I try to get it out of my head and move on with my day. Only to find myself on the phone arguing with him one more time over it all. He does his normal--deny it. Seriously I have more than enough information to take to his command and get him in all kinds of trouble because as we all know they frown upon adultery. All I can say is that is a good quality for the marine corp if he would ever get caught he would not give up his information that is for sure! LOL I am seriously searching for something funny in all of this!
Then I talk to his mom and then his dad, because I live with his mom right now. She is great through all of this by the way. I know with time I will get over it but man right now, I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I honestly do not know how woman get past this and trust there husband or anyone again for that matter. I just do not see it.
My only peace of mind is that tomorrow I start a job. Its not the job I want but it is a job. I start tomorrow morning at 0500. Which is a late day for me, it will normally be at 0400. Yep it is freakin early. So my plans are to do this until I find something else. I had an interview on Friday for a job that I really really want. So please pray for me that I get it.

How cute is this?????

Picture this: I am driving down the road, Nathan is in the front seat, Cale is in the back, I get a phone call and I start talking to a friend. Cale starts crying so I ask Nathan to jump in the back seat to calm him down, he does. Cale calms down and I stop talking to my friend, I tell Nathan thanks for the help and when I turn around this is what I find

Healing

To all of those who have been wondering my boys and I are back on the mainland. Things did not turn out like I had planned. We are now busy trying to get settled in to Ray's mom's house and back into a normal routine.
Nathan is enrolled in school and is once again making new friends and having fun, he misses Hawaii and cries to go home alot but with each day I keep telling him it will be easier and we will make it through this.
Cale is getting so big, he is almost 6 months old and he is sitting up, has two teeth, and eats baby food and drinks juice from a cup he has done all of this in the last 3 weeks. I love my boys!
As for me I am hanging in there, I try not to stop because that is when I start thinking about things that I have no control over anymore so I try to stay as busy as possible until I crash hard at night time. LOL.. You all know what I mean too.
I am applying for jobs here and hopefully by next week I will be employed. I really need a job, but am in the progress of trying to get money from Ray.
Hope all is well with everyone talk to you soon