I am so frustrated that I could cry again. This morning I was woke up by the phone and it was my new job, you know the one that I applied for back in June and got but had to wait on all of the paperwork to be finished. You know the one that assured me over and over again that is was no problem that I was pregnant.... This morning, she calls and tells me that I still have the job but they want to wait until after I come off of maternity leave to start my training..... OK fine but I turned down two other jobs, for this job... I could of been working by now and making a little extra cash that we needed! All I could do was cry!
I then texted message Ray and tell him and ask him if he wants me to start looking for something else, his only reply was if you want to, its up to you! Not what I needed too hear, because now I feel like I have to look. So I go online and start looking for a job, something part time or something like that and I get three calls back and as soon as I tell them that my due date is in 6 weeks they tell me that it would just be better for them if I wait until I am ready to come back to work. I even went as far as talking to someone down the street who owns a local bakery, and needed part time help, she even turned me down.
Yep I starting crying again. I really do not want to call Ray back and tell him this. Money is tight, it is not so tight that we are not making it but it is too close for comfort, not to mention the fact that we are both used to having the extra money around to go do things at our free will and not worry about it and now with the baby coming we both feel the crunch!
So again I am so frustrated!!!!! And if I have to hear Nathan say "mom can we go to the beach again today?" one more time, I will loose my mind... I took him and a littel friend yesterday and we spent 3 hours there and I didn't put sunblock on because we had shade, bad idea, I am so sunburned on my thighs, my stomach and my back, so when little Cale moves, he stretches out the skin on my tummy and it hurts!!!!!!
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Ok so after a long day of trying to find another job because of what little comment Ray had said that hurt my feelings. There was no luck... I do not think I have told you this but Nathan has been grabbling with a friend, which is kind of a mix between karate take downs and wrestling. Since he loves wrestling and has not been able to do that since we got here, he is loving it. He asked if he could spend the night down there and I said yes. Which was good, after dinner Ray I had a chance to talk about his little comment. Apparently that is the problem with emails, text messages and so on, you can not hear the tone of the person leaving you the message. He explained to me that he is fine with me not working, and he thinks it makes sense, but if I feel like I want to, he is not going to try to stop me. He reassured me that things are fine, yes they may be a little tighter than we are used to but we are by no means in trouble. So yes after I dried my tears one more time, I felt like a complete fool for over reacting. I again remembered why I wanted to have this man's baby, he may be ruff around the edges but he is a good provider. He loves us and will do what ever it takes to take care of us!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Updates on the baby to be!
I went to the doctor's yesterday and I knew that this was a very important appointment so Ray took off work to go with me. See yesterday was when we were going to find out if the placenta had moved back to where it needed to be. It stops moving around at 32 weeks. We were also finding out if I had enough amniotic fluid and the they were checking my cervix, doing another non-stress test for the baby, and so on... I know it sounds a little overwhelming right! To top it all off I had Gavin with me, I was not excited about it but could do nothing about it.
So I did what every mother has done once or twice, I made him stay up all day long.... I would not let him take his morning nap, nor did I put him down at noon like I normally do. I played with him outside, we took a 45 minute bath, we played hard all day long. He even at one point got up in the chair that I always rock him to sleep in and just looked at me and cried like please let me go to sleep. LOL.. It was so sad, it broke my heart but I held my ground and we continued to play. Then at 2:00 I put him in his car seat and headed for the office. He was asleep within 10 minutes, which is what I wanted.... My appointment was at 2:40 and he slept until almost 4. I was so happy. We did not leave the appointment until 5:20. It took forever.
I first had to wait on the doctor and then they moved me to another room and then they hooked me up to the monitors to see if I was having contractions for 20 minutes, this always makes Ray laugh to hear the baby's heart rate. He likes to watch the monitor and he knows what is good and what is not, so he is always telling me what the heart rate is, at one point his eyes got real big and he goes it just dropped down to 82. I started laughing and told him that is because he moved and that is my heart rate and when I moved the monitor to where he ran off too it came back. I wish you could of seen the look of panic on his face. I should probably explain the concern: see the baby's heart rate seems to drop down real low from time to time, but then he corrects himself just as fast, so no one is concerned about it, but you still watch it. So after 20 minutes of Gavin freaking out because he did not like the sound of the baby's heart beat, and him sitting between my legs holding on for his life that was over.
Ray took Gavin while the PA did the stress test and this baby is not afraid of anything. He is suppose to react to the buzzing noise, (the idea is for it to scare him and you see a raise in his heart rate instead of a decrease, to see how he handles stress) well this little baby is not phased by it and is more annoyed with the fact that she is pushing on my stomach than the actual noise! Yeah Ray thought that was just hilarious! We finally got him to respond after like 4 buzzes. He did what he was suppose to do. Then the doctor came in the room (first time we met her) yep it kind of scared me. She told me that we needed to go into another room for the rest of the appointment.
I then had my ultrasounds done to see all the good stuff. She told me that he is growing fine. He is a little on the small side but no big deal, he is in the 26% on weight. She said he weighed 3 lbs. 6 oz. right now. Which is not bad. I also have plenty of fluid so that is no longer an issue either. Three down with good news, and we were just waiting to see the rest. She then started looking at the placenta and it has finally attached itself to the exact place we wanted it to go! So yeah no more worries there as well. All in all it was a very good appointment.... For once! I did my normal lab work and we were off and plan to go back in one week for a normal check up! I am so happy about that...
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Now for my funny little story! Later on that in the night Nathan stayed with a friend, and Ray and I had the evening to ourselves, which is always kind of nice. We were outside talking sitting in the grass, why I do not know since we now have a tree swing. So we decided to go to the swing. He then said I will be right, and he ran into the laundry room and grabbed our tiki torches and put them out. It was nice, and relaxing. I love this man. He is always thinking about things like that. So here we are sitting in the swing and he is telling me all about his day and we start talking about the baby again. I tell him that while looking on my blog today I saw that we have 58 more days left until the due date and how it feels like it will never get here. That is how I feel, he on the other hand completely freaked out on me!!!!! I wish you guys could of seen his face. I think the reality of it is all crashing down on him.... LOL... All I could do was laugh at him.. He starts saying things like we only have three more paychecks before the baby comes and his room isn't finished and he doesn't have this and he doesn't have that. See I have been trying to get his attention on this on for the last 2 months and his focus has been on the boat and fishing. Which is fine, but I told him when it comes down to the last couple of days and he is running around scared just remember these conversations. He had them hit him in the face last night and all I could do was laugh. I may be frustrated with the situation but I know he will make it happen, it just could of been alot easier for him if he hadn't waited, but some of us need to learn the hard way right! Hope you guys have a good day!
So I did what every mother has done once or twice, I made him stay up all day long.... I would not let him take his morning nap, nor did I put him down at noon like I normally do. I played with him outside, we took a 45 minute bath, we played hard all day long. He even at one point got up in the chair that I always rock him to sleep in and just looked at me and cried like please let me go to sleep. LOL.. It was so sad, it broke my heart but I held my ground and we continued to play. Then at 2:00 I put him in his car seat and headed for the office. He was asleep within 10 minutes, which is what I wanted.... My appointment was at 2:40 and he slept until almost 4. I was so happy. We did not leave the appointment until 5:20. It took forever.
I first had to wait on the doctor and then they moved me to another room and then they hooked me up to the monitors to see if I was having contractions for 20 minutes, this always makes Ray laugh to hear the baby's heart rate. He likes to watch the monitor and he knows what is good and what is not, so he is always telling me what the heart rate is, at one point his eyes got real big and he goes it just dropped down to 82. I started laughing and told him that is because he moved and that is my heart rate and when I moved the monitor to where he ran off too it came back. I wish you could of seen the look of panic on his face. I should probably explain the concern: see the baby's heart rate seems to drop down real low from time to time, but then he corrects himself just as fast, so no one is concerned about it, but you still watch it. So after 20 minutes of Gavin freaking out because he did not like the sound of the baby's heart beat, and him sitting between my legs holding on for his life that was over.
Ray took Gavin while the PA did the stress test and this baby is not afraid of anything. He is suppose to react to the buzzing noise, (the idea is for it to scare him and you see a raise in his heart rate instead of a decrease, to see how he handles stress) well this little baby is not phased by it and is more annoyed with the fact that she is pushing on my stomach than the actual noise! Yeah Ray thought that was just hilarious! We finally got him to respond after like 4 buzzes. He did what he was suppose to do. Then the doctor came in the room (first time we met her) yep it kind of scared me. She told me that we needed to go into another room for the rest of the appointment.
I then had my ultrasounds done to see all the good stuff. She told me that he is growing fine. He is a little on the small side but no big deal, he is in the 26% on weight. She said he weighed 3 lbs. 6 oz. right now. Which is not bad. I also have plenty of fluid so that is no longer an issue either. Three down with good news, and we were just waiting to see the rest. She then started looking at the placenta and it has finally attached itself to the exact place we wanted it to go! So yeah no more worries there as well. All in all it was a very good appointment.... For once! I did my normal lab work and we were off and plan to go back in one week for a normal check up! I am so happy about that...
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Now for my funny little story! Later on that in the night Nathan stayed with a friend, and Ray and I had the evening to ourselves, which is always kind of nice. We were outside talking sitting in the grass, why I do not know since we now have a tree swing. So we decided to go to the swing. He then said I will be right, and he ran into the laundry room and grabbed our tiki torches and put them out. It was nice, and relaxing. I love this man. He is always thinking about things like that. So here we are sitting in the swing and he is telling me all about his day and we start talking about the baby again. I tell him that while looking on my blog today I saw that we have 58 more days left until the due date and how it feels like it will never get here. That is how I feel, he on the other hand completely freaked out on me!!!!! I wish you guys could of seen his face. I think the reality of it is all crashing down on him.... LOL... All I could do was laugh at him.. He starts saying things like we only have three more paychecks before the baby comes and his room isn't finished and he doesn't have this and he doesn't have that. See I have been trying to get his attention on this on for the last 2 months and his focus has been on the boat and fishing. Which is fine, but I told him when it comes down to the last couple of days and he is running around scared just remember these conversations. He had them hit him in the face last night and all I could do was laugh. I may be frustrated with the situation but I know he will make it happen, it just could of been alot easier for him if he hadn't waited, but some of us need to learn the hard way right! Hope you guys have a good day!
Monday, July 23, 2007
Our last Mommy Talk :-(
July 23: Grandparents: what is their relationship with your child(ren) and how do they fit into your child's life?
With Nathan my parents and my grandma were very important to him... We lived with my grandma as I told you before so you can only imagine how close he was to her, he would escape from my house and you would find a little boy with only a diaper on hitting her back door yelling "mamaw, mamaw come get me" Yes I received numerous phone calls while in the shower from my grandma saying "Michelle I am not sure but I think Nate is at my back door, I am going go check OK!" (Remember my grandma was blind so this scared her as much as it did me) We finally got some different locks on my apartment so he could not escape. LOL.. He never got hurt but I am sure I hurt his feelings a few times. My grandma passed away when Nathan was 7 years old and he still sleeps with her old quilt that she gave me and from time to time, he tells me how much he misses her, if he only knew how much I missed her. Its funny how its been 5 years almost since she past and I still feel like I need to call her and see how she is doing. I wonder if that will ever fade.
Well that was my grandma on my mother's side. My dad grandma was very loved and he knew her but we did not spend as much time with her as my other grandma mostly because dad comes from a family of 15 and with cousins all added up with spouses included we are standing at like 159 strong now and we have 2 grand kids and 1 great grandchild that are expecting. Yeah I know crazy right.
As for my parents, wow Nathan is my dad's little right hand man. I know that we are not suppose to have "our favorites" but when my dad is around Nate his hole face changes and he is in heaven. He once told me that if he could do it all over again, he would of had his grand kids first. I think he is so close to Nathan only because he was so sick when he was little and not to mention the fact that I was daddy's little girl. Hands down. My parents are great with Nathan, they do all the things they are not suppose to do, get him things that I told them not too. Send him entirely too money, baby him when he gets into trouble with us, and so much more. My mom needs the reassurance that he misses them so much more than my dad, she is always trying to make me feel guilty for moving so far away from them and taking him away from them while my dad just enjoys talking to him about any random thing that Nathan wants to talk about. I have watched Nathan sit and talk to my dad for hours while they both sit and watch a cartoon show, or dad just listens to Nate while he plays a video game. I do not get it, that would drive me crazy but dad just sits with him and plays along on the other line. It is really very funny! He used to go spend the summer with them. He is the only child I know that can go to see grandma with only 10 bucks in his wallet and come home with 200.00 in it and so many video games (that he knows he is not aloud to have). It drives me bonkers!
Now with child number two my mom is already pouring on the guilt trips with little comments like, "this one is not even gonna be our grandchild because we will never get to know him", or "he will be so afraid of us and he will want nothing to do with us" or my favorite "you two had better not treat this one any different than you do Nathan" yep you guessed it that one makes me very mad!!!!
As for Ray's parents and grandparents its a little easier, because both his mom and dad come from military families so everyone is used to it, unlike mine. His parents are real good about calling and they send cards with money in them for every single holiday, including the odd ones like Halloween, and Flag Day! LOL.....Yes I said a card and money for flag day. They all enjoy pictures and just talking to Nathan when we call and treasure the time that they get to spend with them.
Sorry if I sound so negative about my mom in this post, she is a good person, but she does not like change and she needs to be needed and the closer it gets to my delivery date the worse she feels. Then I go and suggest she comes out after the baby is born so mom and dad can spend one full week with Nathan while he is on break from school and one full week with the baby while Nathan is in school. Sounded like a good idea to me, but I think I only mad things worse for my mom. I honestly had good intentions when I suggested it. Now I have to try to fix this problem. Not to mention that the ticket prices drop down to like 500 bucks each which is so cheap for over here.
I have another doctor's appointment today so wish me luck, I have been having alot of contractions lately and the placenta is still in the way so I am not sure what will happen when I go, I have Gavin with me too and then to add on top of it, Ray is coming, so it will be a full house! LOL....
Friday, July 20, 2007
Internet Problems
First I would like to point out that I changed my pregnancy ticker and it is now correct. Yes ladies I have only 58 more days left and I am so excited!!!!! I can't wait for this to be over. LOL.. I know I should be happy and love being pregnant but honestly that is not me. I do not like being pregnant and it does not like me.
Back to reality for now, I am sitting on eternal hold with sprint, my Internet provider. Holy cow it has now been 45 minutes! I have spoke to one person for her to send me to someone else for help.... Have you ever noticed that they always tell you they are experiencing higher than normal call volumes at this time. I really think that they just sit there and laugh and take bets on how long we will stay on hold!
I hope you guys have a good weekend
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I did it! I made it out of the eternal holding cell and I now have a functional Internet connection! Yesssssss!!!!!!
Back to reality for now, I am sitting on eternal hold with sprint, my Internet provider. Holy cow it has now been 45 minutes! I have spoke to one person for her to send me to someone else for help.... Have you ever noticed that they always tell you they are experiencing higher than normal call volumes at this time. I really think that they just sit there and laugh and take bets on how long we will stay on hold!
I hope you guys have a good weekend
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I did it! I made it out of the eternal holding cell and I now have a functional Internet connection! Yesssssss!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Remembering things from the past
Today was a very hectic day for me. I had to run a bunch of errands and I had little Gavin, the boy I am baby sitting. He is only 17 months old and yes this is practice for me, but it has been almost 10 years since I have had to tote a diaper bag, a stroller and so many other things! Needless to say it was not much fun, but I am so thankful for my son. He is such a big help. He is truly going to be a great big brother! I am kind of proud of him, he changed his first poopie diaper yesterday with very little complaints. LOL....
I first took Nathan to a doctor's appointment this morning, he has been having problems with his allergies and it seems to be getting worse and I have been fighting this for 2 weeks now and its not getting better, so with an added fever and a "mom my ear hurts" I knew it was time to go in and get it checked out! The clinic on base was very good about getting him in on such short notice, and I am very glad for it. His diagnosis is a sinus cold, which we knew he had, but he has an ear infection in his right ear that is so bad, it looks like his ear drum will rupture. Now normally you would see the red ear and he would be screaming with pain but not Nathan, there are no symptoms other than a temp and him saying my ear hurts! Go figure! It always makes you feel like crap you know. So we now have him on an antibiotic so soon he should be feeling better. We then went to pick up the prescription and off to the FED EX office to mail out a package. Then to my doctor's office so I could fill out paperwork there to get all of my immunizations sent to them, then a real quick lunch to only get a phone call saying "hey the decals are finally in so you need to come up to the base to pick them up." So we loaded back up in the car and off to the base, to which I was told once again that I could not get my decal sticker! I am so over that! I now have to go to a different satellite city hall to get the proper paperwork that is needed. Which by the way I will do tomorrow, I refuse to do it today!
We then head home and try to take a nap, which means Nathan falls right to sleep (he really is not feeling well), and I try to get the baby to sleep and of course he was fighting it. I then remember how my grandma would put Nathan to sleep. She would put him in the "grandma death lock" as I called it and then she would hum three songs; The Old Rugged Cross, Amazing Grace, and then Praise God and by the time she was done he would have this look of peace over him and he would be out cold. It was so funny how he would do that every time, he could not fight it! So I kind of laughed and started doing what she did and by the time I got half way through with the fist song he had stopped fighting me and had that same look on his face that Nathan got. He too was out cold by the time I was done.
As I was laying him down I almost cried, I miss my grandma so much she truly was a remarkable woman and she loved my son so much her doctor said that he believed that he was the only reason why she lived as long as she did after she got sick. She was given only 2 months to live right before Nathan was born and my family without telling me had decided to put her in a nursing home. I found out by mistake and refused to let it happen. Yes I threatened my family by telling them if they did it they would never see me or Nathan again (I really meant it too) that they could figure something out until I was able to come home and stay with her. I think I told both of her sisters that they should be ashamed of themselves because grandma has taken care of both of them and there kids before and she has never asked them for anything and they could take a few weeks out of there schedules to help her for once. (my grandma was the oldest in the family) Long story short, I won, they all got together and made sure she got to stay at home until I could be there and when I brought Nathan home from the hospital her face lit up and she changed so fast, she had energy to do things and didn't seem as depressed as before. She would put him to sleep everyday for his nap and if he would sleep for three hours she would sit in her chair and hold him until he woke up. She refused to move and refused to give that up no matter how much I begged her to let me put him down.
I really miss her.
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Ok on to a happier subject. Ray took his 19 foot boat out last weekend to go fishing for the first time. He was a little worried about how she would do and he found out really fast that she did OK. They were (he took a friend with him) only gone for 6 hours that included travel time, trolling and the hour it took to get the 150 pound yellow fin tuna that they caught into the boat! No joke he once again caught a huge fish! We have talked to people that have lived on the island for 10 years and have never caught anything that size and he has been out twice and caught one both times.... How funny is that! Here is a picture of the fish at our house before they took it to have someone show them how to cut the fish up. We did not know how to fillet this thing! LOL I know that is too funny right.
The fish was huge. I think I may regret that he caught this thing because now he and his friends seem even more interested in doing this every weekend. I keep joking with him telling him, I see how this is going to work, I am going to stuck at home every weekend with the baby and he will go out and play with Nathan and the boys... He keeps reassuring me that he will not be like that and the funny thing is I believe him. He actually likes having me around... go figure. LOL..
I just got a phone call from Ray and I need to run his jeep up to base so they can do an inspection on it! Apparently he has had one too many of the marines get into trouble for not having the proper documentation for there cars, so now they are inspecting every ones! It should be fun... Since I know of 3 that do not have there current inspection stickers! FUN FUN!!!!
I first took Nathan to a doctor's appointment this morning, he has been having problems with his allergies and it seems to be getting worse and I have been fighting this for 2 weeks now and its not getting better, so with an added fever and a "mom my ear hurts" I knew it was time to go in and get it checked out! The clinic on base was very good about getting him in on such short notice, and I am very glad for it. His diagnosis is a sinus cold, which we knew he had, but he has an ear infection in his right ear that is so bad, it looks like his ear drum will rupture. Now normally you would see the red ear and he would be screaming with pain but not Nathan, there are no symptoms other than a temp and him saying my ear hurts! Go figure! It always makes you feel like crap you know. So we now have him on an antibiotic so soon he should be feeling better. We then went to pick up the prescription and off to the FED EX office to mail out a package. Then to my doctor's office so I could fill out paperwork there to get all of my immunizations sent to them, then a real quick lunch to only get a phone call saying "hey the decals are finally in so you need to come up to the base to pick them up." So we loaded back up in the car and off to the base, to which I was told once again that I could not get my decal sticker! I am so over that! I now have to go to a different satellite city hall to get the proper paperwork that is needed. Which by the way I will do tomorrow, I refuse to do it today!
We then head home and try to take a nap, which means Nathan falls right to sleep (he really is not feeling well), and I try to get the baby to sleep and of course he was fighting it. I then remember how my grandma would put Nathan to sleep. She would put him in the "grandma death lock" as I called it and then she would hum three songs; The Old Rugged Cross, Amazing Grace, and then Praise God and by the time she was done he would have this look of peace over him and he would be out cold. It was so funny how he would do that every time, he could not fight it! So I kind of laughed and started doing what she did and by the time I got half way through with the fist song he had stopped fighting me and had that same look on his face that Nathan got. He too was out cold by the time I was done.
As I was laying him down I almost cried, I miss my grandma so much she truly was a remarkable woman and she loved my son so much her doctor said that he believed that he was the only reason why she lived as long as she did after she got sick. She was given only 2 months to live right before Nathan was born and my family without telling me had decided to put her in a nursing home. I found out by mistake and refused to let it happen. Yes I threatened my family by telling them if they did it they would never see me or Nathan again (I really meant it too) that they could figure something out until I was able to come home and stay with her. I think I told both of her sisters that they should be ashamed of themselves because grandma has taken care of both of them and there kids before and she has never asked them for anything and they could take a few weeks out of there schedules to help her for once. (my grandma was the oldest in the family) Long story short, I won, they all got together and made sure she got to stay at home until I could be there and when I brought Nathan home from the hospital her face lit up and she changed so fast, she had energy to do things and didn't seem as depressed as before. She would put him to sleep everyday for his nap and if he would sleep for three hours she would sit in her chair and hold him until he woke up. She refused to move and refused to give that up no matter how much I begged her to let me put him down.
I really miss her.
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Ok on to a happier subject. Ray took his 19 foot boat out last weekend to go fishing for the first time. He was a little worried about how she would do and he found out really fast that she did OK. They were (he took a friend with him) only gone for 6 hours that included travel time, trolling and the hour it took to get the 150 pound yellow fin tuna that they caught into the boat! No joke he once again caught a huge fish! We have talked to people that have lived on the island for 10 years and have never caught anything that size and he has been out twice and caught one both times.... How funny is that! Here is a picture of the fish at our house before they took it to have someone show them how to cut the fish up. We did not know how to fillet this thing! LOL I know that is too funny right.
The fish was huge. I think I may regret that he caught this thing because now he and his friends seem even more interested in doing this every weekend. I keep joking with him telling him, I see how this is going to work, I am going to stuck at home every weekend with the baby and he will go out and play with Nathan and the boys... He keeps reassuring me that he will not be like that and the funny thing is I believe him. He actually likes having me around... go figure. LOL..
I just got a phone call from Ray and I need to run his jeep up to base so they can do an inspection on it! Apparently he has had one too many of the marines get into trouble for not having the proper documentation for there cars, so now they are inspecting every ones! It should be fun... Since I know of 3 that do not have there current inspection stickers! FUN FUN!!!!
Monday, July 16, 2007
Mommy Talk
OK FIRST THINGS FIRST HAS ANY ONE ELSE NOTICED MY BABY TICKER? IT SAYS THAT I AM 3 WEEKS AND 0 DAYS AND I HAVE 62 DAYS LEFT... WHICH I AM REALLY 31 WEEKS AND 1 DAY AND I HAVE 61 DAYS LEFT! SAD THING IS I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FIX IT WITHOUT CHANGING THE WHOLE THING AGAIN! GO FIGURE!
July 16: What sacrifices have you made as a SAHM or a Working Mom?
Well I can honestly say that I had forgotten all about doing this, then it hit me! Yes It has been one of those days.....
I was a single mom when I had Nathan so being a SAHM was not an option for me, I had to work. I was very lucky in that my grandma, who was my best friend, was getting over an illness and needed around the clock care. She was eligible for in home care and they would pay someone to do this for her. So I did it, I was able to keep my grandma out of a nursing home, which was very important to me, and at the same time get to spend time with Nathan as well. It was very good for my grandma and I would not of done things differently. It was convenient for everyone involved, my great aunts would help out when Nathan was sick, or needed to go to one of his endless doctor appointments.
When my grandma got to where she could spend the night alone I moved out of her house and into an apartment that was right behind her, so she would still have someone close by but she would have her independence too. Nathan and I were still over there everyday so I'm not sure how that worked out for her. I know she loved having him around. If I would take a shower and he would be asleep in his room he would escape from my house and run to hers. It was so frustrating, but we could not break him of it, (my grandma was blind so it got kind of scary for him to do that). I then started working with disabled children and did respite care with them. I worked with two foster kids, that lived in the same house and we all went to the same church so I would bring Nathan to work with me then, because he was actually good therapy for the kids! They loved him. Rodney was blind and had CP, along with fetal alcohol syndrome and a cleft lip and pallet and the list goes on, but he would hear Nathan coming up to the house and just start screaming and laughing, he couldn't wait for him to come inside and play with him. He became very protective of Rodney and Amanda if anyone even looked at the kids too long, he was telling them that they were ok, that they just were a little different, like Amanda hasn't learned to walk yet but she can clap her hands and then he would get her to do it, it was so funny to watch him with them. Its like this little three year old didn't even see there disabilities and he was trying to make everyone else understand it was ok.
I then started nursing school after taking care of the kids for 2 years and I had to put Nathan in daycare/preschool. Which he hated every minute of it. I loved being social but he hated that when we came home, I had homework and couldn't play with him like we used to. I would still make time for him, but it was different.
From then on out he has been in daycare and I have worked my butt off to make ends meet, when we moved to Florida, I hated it, I didn't get to pick him up until almost 6 and by the time we were home, dinner homework and a bath, it was time for him to go to bed and I was just exhausted. I hated it, I was always so stressed out because of money issues, and we couldn't always do the things that he wanted to do. We had fun but it wasn't easy. I then started doing a little in home care for an elderly lady and I would work my day shift job and then come and get Nathan do dinner really quick he would shower and I would be at her house for a 12 hour night shift, with Nathan. He would stay there with me and her family was great! They would take him everywhere with them and then I still took care of there mom and got to spend time with Nathan. I would make a pallet on the floor and he would sleep there in the room with me and then he would get up and then we would run get breakfast and then I would take him back to school, and I was off for my day time job. It was crazy for about 8 months like that.
Then when I moved to Virginia with Ray, I got to be a true stay at home mom, and it was nice to be home when he got home and there was less stress and I feel like finally at age 10 I got to enjoy my son again. It was nice, and even when I started working again it was easier, because I didn't have to work as hard and if I didn't want to work the extra hours I didn't, it wasn't that I had to so I could pay rent or something.
But when I got pregnant with this one and we moved to Hawaii, well I think that not working has almost drove me crazy! LOL I need to work! I am so going crazy in this house! I am baby sitting a little boy three days a week now but even with that, Nathan is gone all day playing with the neighborhood boys, which he has never been able to do before, so he is never home!!!! Makes me being a SAHM pointless, at least that is how I feel. I still never see him! lol....
With baby number 2 I think things will be much easier! I hope anyways, I'm not sure that I can do that with 2 kids.
Monday, July 09, 2007
It's time to relax
We took Ray's dad to the airport Saturday night at 10:00 PM for his flight that did not leave until 11:30. Holy cow that is such a late flight but at least he was nice and tired and got to sleep most of the trip home! We had so much fun with him, Nathan is really going to miss him. Joe and Nathan really have not gotten a chance to spend much time with him, and this was the first time he got to spend alot of one on one time with Grandpa Joe. It was cute!
Joe arrived on the island on Saturday evening and Nathan and Ray went to the airport to pick him up while I ran out the the base to get us ready for the fireworks show they had out there for Bayfest. The boys got there just in time to listen to the ending of Gretchen Wilson's concert and to watch the fireworks. We then went home to get Joe settled in, we were all so tired that going to sleep was very easy for all of us!
On Sunday Ray still had his diving class he had to go to so his dad had to hang out with us, Nathan had decided that he needed to go to Pyramid Rock and go Boogie Boarding (Nathan's new favorite past time) so off we went, we loaded up the car and went to the beach The beach was beautiful! The waves were huge and it was nice ans warm. the boys had so much fun, Joe caught on to the whole concept and decided he was to old for that , he got pretty beat up by the waves! I on the other hand had gotten tired of only one side of my body getting sun, so I decided to dig a hole in the sand for my belly and I laid my blanket over it and ladies I got to lay on my belly! You do not know how happy it made me. I got the best sleep that I have had in the last 5 months! It was great!
Sorry I refuse to show the pictures that were taken of that day. Trust me when I say they were funny!
We came home and showered and I made dinner and after Ray came home we got ready to go to the Alan Jackson concert on base and it was so much fun. He had a good show and he really seems like a good guy! Just a good o`country boy type. We then got to watch another fireworks show. Needless to say we were so tired after such a long day that we came home and crashed. This is what I got. I asked a marine to get me a picture of him because he was so much taller than me and he then helped me get up on a chair to take one myself, then he realized that I was pregnant and tried to make sure that I did not fall by holding onto my butt! Needless to say the picture was no longer my focusThis was the picture of Nathan he was so tired and he fell asleep in his chair half way through the show! It was so late and he tried to stay awake but being in the sun all day, he could not do it any longer! LOL
On Monday Ray had to go to work and I had already promised to babysit a neighbors kid for her he is 18 months old and so much fun, so Joe, Nathan and I hung with a little one and lets just say that my house is not child proof! We then got a phone call from Ray and he told me that it was mandatory fun day at the soft ball field, so he needed us to come up there. So I packed some sandwiches and a cooler full of water and off we went. We met them up there and the boys all started playing softball. His marines always get mad at him because I am always bringing him food and snacks and all that and they do not get any of it, he won't share his goods, it is so funny! My husband is so spoiled! I hung out there for a little while and then the little guy was getting hot and tired so I left them there and we came home. I guess I will have to get used to that again. The boys including Nathan stayed out at the ball park from 1:00 until 7:45 that night, it was so funny to see them when they came home, so tired and dirty and everyone complaining of being in the sun too long and how bad they hurt! We then got ready and went out to eat at a local place here and I wish I had brought my camera because the food was a beautiful display of food!
Tuesday Ray and his dad spent the day riding motorcycles around the island and had they really enjoyed themselves, on Wednesday we did things around the house, like clean out the baby's room and put it all in the shed. Which was well needed, his dad helped Ray fix the shed so it wouldn't leak. And ladies we finally found out how has more junk ladies! Lets just say its not me! I was so happy for that moment...Then we went out on the boat and watched the fireworks again. On Thursday we got up real early and was at Pearl harbor by 7:30 in the morning, we waited in a long line for almost an hour then had our tour by 8:30 it was the first time we had been there and it was amazing. The tour itself is free but you can rent head phones that give you a better detail of what happened. It was so worth the 5 bucks each, I learned so much more this way. It was such a sobering thing to experience, here are the pictures that we took of each otherThat is such a horrible picture of the three of us, we are all doing different things. But you can see how big I am getting! This is a picture of Ray and his dad I think they look so much a like and this is a good picture of them.
Ok I need to go for now but I will finish my week later tomorrow. I need to go make lunch for Nathan and little Gavin, they are both hungry!
Joe arrived on the island on Saturday evening and Nathan and Ray went to the airport to pick him up while I ran out the the base to get us ready for the fireworks show they had out there for Bayfest. The boys got there just in time to listen to the ending of Gretchen Wilson's concert and to watch the fireworks. We then went home to get Joe settled in, we were all so tired that going to sleep was very easy for all of us!
On Sunday Ray still had his diving class he had to go to so his dad had to hang out with us, Nathan had decided that he needed to go to Pyramid Rock and go Boogie Boarding (Nathan's new favorite past time) so off we went, we loaded up the car and went to the beach The beach was beautiful! The waves were huge and it was nice ans warm. the boys had so much fun, Joe caught on to the whole concept and decided he was to old for that , he got pretty beat up by the waves! I on the other hand had gotten tired of only one side of my body getting sun, so I decided to dig a hole in the sand for my belly and I laid my blanket over it and ladies I got to lay on my belly! You do not know how happy it made me. I got the best sleep that I have had in the last 5 months! It was great!
Sorry I refuse to show the pictures that were taken of that day. Trust me when I say they were funny!
We came home and showered and I made dinner and after Ray came home we got ready to go to the Alan Jackson concert on base and it was so much fun. He had a good show and he really seems like a good guy! Just a good o`country boy type. We then got to watch another fireworks show. Needless to say we were so tired after such a long day that we came home and crashed. This is what I got. I asked a marine to get me a picture of him because he was so much taller than me and he then helped me get up on a chair to take one myself, then he realized that I was pregnant and tried to make sure that I did not fall by holding onto my butt! Needless to say the picture was no longer my focusThis was the picture of Nathan he was so tired and he fell asleep in his chair half way through the show! It was so late and he tried to stay awake but being in the sun all day, he could not do it any longer! LOL
On Monday Ray had to go to work and I had already promised to babysit a neighbors kid for her he is 18 months old and so much fun, so Joe, Nathan and I hung with a little one and lets just say that my house is not child proof! We then got a phone call from Ray and he told me that it was mandatory fun day at the soft ball field, so he needed us to come up there. So I packed some sandwiches and a cooler full of water and off we went. We met them up there and the boys all started playing softball. His marines always get mad at him because I am always bringing him food and snacks and all that and they do not get any of it, he won't share his goods, it is so funny! My husband is so spoiled! I hung out there for a little while and then the little guy was getting hot and tired so I left them there and we came home. I guess I will have to get used to that again. The boys including Nathan stayed out at the ball park from 1:00 until 7:45 that night, it was so funny to see them when they came home, so tired and dirty and everyone complaining of being in the sun too long and how bad they hurt! We then got ready and went out to eat at a local place here and I wish I had brought my camera because the food was a beautiful display of food!
Tuesday Ray and his dad spent the day riding motorcycles around the island and had they really enjoyed themselves, on Wednesday we did things around the house, like clean out the baby's room and put it all in the shed. Which was well needed, his dad helped Ray fix the shed so it wouldn't leak. And ladies we finally found out how has more junk ladies! Lets just say its not me! I was so happy for that moment...Then we went out on the boat and watched the fireworks again. On Thursday we got up real early and was at Pearl harbor by 7:30 in the morning, we waited in a long line for almost an hour then had our tour by 8:30 it was the first time we had been there and it was amazing. The tour itself is free but you can rent head phones that give you a better detail of what happened. It was so worth the 5 bucks each, I learned so much more this way. It was such a sobering thing to experience, here are the pictures that we took of each otherThat is such a horrible picture of the three of us, we are all doing different things. But you can see how big I am getting! This is a picture of Ray and his dad I think they look so much a like and this is a good picture of them.
Ok I need to go for now but I will finish my week later tomorrow. I need to go make lunch for Nathan and little Gavin, they are both hungry!
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Mommy talk July 9th
July 9: Your biggest challenge of motherhood: how things were when baby was first born, how things changed as time went on and what type of challenges are you facing right now?
My biggest challenge with Nathan wasn't the obvious, doctor appointments, monitors or surgeries and things that you would expect but it was making the doctors and nurses see that I was his mother and I was the one that took care of him not my mom. It was hard being so young and watching the doctors talk to my mom about my son instead of me, they looked at me like I had no idea what was going on, which in reality I would leave the office and explain it to my mom. It wasn't until I started getting vocal about it with the doctors and saying things like "look I am sorry but you really need to start talking to me and not my mom, she is grandma and I take care of him not the other way around." It started changing really fast after that! LOL
The challenges that I am facing now are making my mom realize that I am in control of what Nathan does and does not do and not her! LOL....Funny how things change isn't. My mom and I disagree on how to handle certain things and she likes to go behind me and get him what I said he could get or baby him and make things worse when he does get into trouble. Nathan is not stupid by any means and he has figured out how to play her! It is getting better. I think my mom just had to adjust to the fact that I am married and Nathan has someone else in his life other than me, my mom and dad, if that makes any sense what so ever. It truly is getting better and she is learning to back off and keep her opinion to herself (somewhat) when my husband and I punish Nathan for doing something wrong.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Happy 4th of July
Music Video Codes by VideoCure
I know this is a oldie but I love this song the video is kind of funny to watch because it is so old... I wonder sometimes if he knew what kind of impact this song would have on people? Still to this day I get chills and get all teary eyed when I hear it and I find myself sqeezing Ray and telling him that I love him just one more time.
I hope everyone enjoys there day! Ray's dad has been in town this week so we are planning on getting in the boat and heading for the water, wish me luck, its gonna be hot today!
Monday, July 02, 2007
Mommy Talk July 2nd.
July 2: How hard was it for you to lose your pregnancy weight and keep it off?
Now granted that I did not weigh very much before I had Nathan and that I was so young, it was very easy for me to loose the weight. I was so swollen after I had him I never thought that I would be back down to a "normal size" but to my suprise, I lost the weight in about 4 months. Then by the time he was a year old, I was down to a size 2! But when I hit 25 years old, my body thought that my metabolism needed a break and I starting gainig weight for the first time in my life! LOL.... So 11 years later, I start off my new pregnancy weight almost at what I weighed when I gave birth to Nathan. Yes that is still hard for me to get used to!
I wish I had before and after pictures to show you but they are all loaded up in boxes and I can't seem to find where they are at. I know that they are there just not sure where. Go figure.
Hope you girls enjoy the week.
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