Monday, July 31, 2006
Make them go away please
Real quick does anyone remember how to get on the list so that they (telemarketers)can't call you anymore? Wasn't it called the "no call list"? I am so tired of the constant calls that I am getting GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! LOL
Saturday, July 29, 2006
I did it this time
First Things First
I have been meaning to send a special thanks to my friend, Shionge, in Singapore for the lovely gifts that she sent us! We love them and the magnet is placed on the refrigerator with all of the others! So again Thank you. Here is a picture of the gifts! My son is so excited to see the candy!
Ok I meant to tell you all this Saturday evening but I just did not have it in me! LOL. I wrecked Ray's motorcycle Saturday!!! We are ok. I got road burn on my left shoulder, forearm, hip, knee and ankle! Yes I slid across the road. Ray went over my head and landed in the grass. Don't worry I caught the bike with my leg. I now know what the weight of the bike feels like. LOL. Personal note: riding his bike is what we were fighting over the other day! See I told you it was silly. I want to learn how to ride the bike but I am afraid of it at the same time. I get scared when I turn the bike because it feels like it is falling and I can not keep the bike upright, which is what happened when we wrecked. I was turning onto the main road and that happened and I freaked out the clutch popped and we well we wrecked. I was so scared! Not to mention how bad it hurt! I felt my skin tear away from my arm. Can we say ouch!!!!!!! I did not cry but I did feel like I was going to get very sick. I did not but wow it was bad for awhile. We were about an hour from the house so I had no choice but to get back on the back of the bike so we could go home.
Ray was good about it! He was not mad, just glad I was OK. But the bike,which is only 6 months old, has the following damage: broken mirror on the left side, bent handle bars, messed up gas tank, and a little body damage on the side and I somehow broke his foot peg!!!!!
This is the worst part of the day: On the way home I was talking to God and it hit me like a ton of bricks, I always pray for safety, grace and mercy, and for Him to send angels of protection to be with us! This time I forgot to do so!!!! Yep the one time I forgot and I wrecked!!!!!!
Tonight when Ray gets home from work I will take pictures of the bike and of me so you can see my BOO Boos!
On a brighter note I am on day 38 without Nathan and he calls me three to four times a day to talk to me. He now says: "mommy are you ok? How is your arm? Is your knee ok?" He is so worried about me! It is so cute. But then it follows with something like what happened last night! "Ok good, mom we were all talking and Sami, his cousin, and Aunt Diane, and Punkin said that it would be ok after Sami spends two weeks here with me that I can go to Cleveland, Ohio to spend a week with them! Then come back to grandma's and spend like three days with them then I can come home, so can I please go spend time with them. Aunt Diane says she will take good care of me and you can call her if you want to!!! PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSE mom I really want to do this!" A little background on the family is that my Aunt Diane just lost her husband to cancer, they had been together since she was 14 years old. She is now in her mid 40's. She has 2 daughters and 4 granddaughters who love to go to my parents house to play! I know she would take good care of Nathan and believe it or not they all think that I am over protective of him and will not let him go! Which is true, he can stay at my parents but I freak if it is anywhere else. LOL. My mom says "it would mean a lot to them if you would let him go up there, they already have everything planned out" So yes he is going to Cleveland for a week!!!!!!!
I am going absolutely crazy here. I miss my son but at the same time I am glad he is having so much fun! I keep telling myself if he was here we would be paying 300.00 for one week of camp! yep, ouch that is outrageous I know... And he is having so much more fun there and its free. I will be honest and say that it has been very nice to have all of this alone time with Ray. When Nathan is here we do not spend any time without him so with that in mind I have fallen in love with Ray all over again this summer!
I have been meaning to send a special thanks to my friend, Shionge, in Singapore for the lovely gifts that she sent us! We love them and the magnet is placed on the refrigerator with all of the others! So again Thank you. Here is a picture of the gifts! My son is so excited to see the candy!
Ok I meant to tell you all this Saturday evening but I just did not have it in me! LOL. I wrecked Ray's motorcycle Saturday!!! We are ok. I got road burn on my left shoulder, forearm, hip, knee and ankle! Yes I slid across the road. Ray went over my head and landed in the grass. Don't worry I caught the bike with my leg. I now know what the weight of the bike feels like. LOL. Personal note: riding his bike is what we were fighting over the other day! See I told you it was silly. I want to learn how to ride the bike but I am afraid of it at the same time. I get scared when I turn the bike because it feels like it is falling and I can not keep the bike upright, which is what happened when we wrecked. I was turning onto the main road and that happened and I freaked out the clutch popped and we well we wrecked. I was so scared! Not to mention how bad it hurt! I felt my skin tear away from my arm. Can we say ouch!!!!!!! I did not cry but I did feel like I was going to get very sick. I did not but wow it was bad for awhile. We were about an hour from the house so I had no choice but to get back on the back of the bike so we could go home.
Ray was good about it! He was not mad, just glad I was OK. But the bike,which is only 6 months old, has the following damage: broken mirror on the left side, bent handle bars, messed up gas tank, and a little body damage on the side and I somehow broke his foot peg!!!!!
This is the worst part of the day: On the way home I was talking to God and it hit me like a ton of bricks, I always pray for safety, grace and mercy, and for Him to send angels of protection to be with us! This time I forgot to do so!!!! Yep the one time I forgot and I wrecked!!!!!!
Tonight when Ray gets home from work I will take pictures of the bike and of me so you can see my BOO Boos!
On a brighter note I am on day 38 without Nathan and he calls me three to four times a day to talk to me. He now says: "mommy are you ok? How is your arm? Is your knee ok?" He is so worried about me! It is so cute. But then it follows with something like what happened last night! "Ok good, mom we were all talking and Sami, his cousin, and Aunt Diane, and Punkin said that it would be ok after Sami spends two weeks here with me that I can go to Cleveland, Ohio to spend a week with them! Then come back to grandma's and spend like three days with them then I can come home, so can I please go spend time with them. Aunt Diane says she will take good care of me and you can call her if you want to!!! PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSE mom I really want to do this!" A little background on the family is that my Aunt Diane just lost her husband to cancer, they had been together since she was 14 years old. She is now in her mid 40's. She has 2 daughters and 4 granddaughters who love to go to my parents house to play! I know she would take good care of Nathan and believe it or not they all think that I am over protective of him and will not let him go! Which is true, he can stay at my parents but I freak if it is anywhere else. LOL. My mom says "it would mean a lot to them if you would let him go up there, they already have everything planned out" So yes he is going to Cleveland for a week!!!!!!!
I am going absolutely crazy here. I miss my son but at the same time I am glad he is having so much fun! I keep telling myself if he was here we would be paying 300.00 for one week of camp! yep, ouch that is outrageous I know... And he is having so much more fun there and its free. I will be honest and say that it has been very nice to have all of this alone time with Ray. When Nathan is here we do not spend any time without him so with that in mind I have fallen in love with Ray all over again this summer!
Friday, July 28, 2006
I love flowers!
Well ladies I told you that Ray was very good at getting "the little things", well yesterday was very hard for me. I was faced with a something that just knocked me over and I panicked. I emailed him to let him know what was going on while he was at work and then I did my crying and praying, which I do not believe God responds very well too! LOL. I see Him saying "you do your little temper tantrum and when you calm down I will talk to you!" I hate/love that! LOL. So anyway five hours later Ray comes home from work, he did his normal routine, take off his helmet, say hello to Bo, the dog, then give me a kiss, I was on the verge of tears again so I do what I do when I get like that I get busy! I went into the bedroom to fold the laundry and he followed me and when I turned around he had a dozen of roses waiting for me!
Here they are!
Aren't they pretty! I do not know if you can see it or not but I like to collect the willow tree figures and that is the mother and son that I got for easter thanks to Ray!
The flowers may not of made the problem go away but it sure put a smile on my face!!!
Buy the way the problem was solved today God is so good! I needed to just breathe and relax and know that God was taking care of me. He just needed me to butt out!
Here they are!
Aren't they pretty! I do not know if you can see it or not but I like to collect the willow tree figures and that is the mother and son that I got for easter thanks to Ray!
The flowers may not of made the problem go away but it sure put a smile on my face!!!
Buy the way the problem was solved today God is so good! I needed to just breathe and relax and know that God was taking care of me. He just needed me to butt out!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Its been a long day
I really do not know how I got the rest of this blog to be underlined so sorry for the mess up!
I went to bed last night in the arms of the man that I love and was very happy then this morning I awoke to the worst headache you could ever imagine! LOL. Ladies I have had a sinus migraine all day long, It hurts to touch the right side of my head and not to mention the fact if I try to focus on anything for too long then I start to see like 4 of the image!!! It has been such a long day! I have tried medicine, food, sleep, Ray bless his heart, even rubbed my head for me for an hour today while he was here on his lunch break. He says he loves me and only me. He is so sweet, I am really lucky I have one of those guys who gets the small things he is so good at that kind of stuff. He even sends me love text messages all the time. I then found out that I do not have any hot water. Our landlord has not paid the oil bill so we do not get hot water until sometime tomorrow, hopefully!
Ray is on duty tonight so I have the house to myself. I have tried to relax as much as possible. I took Ray his dinner and spent some time with him in the barricks. I do not know if I will ever get used to the military life. LOL.
I wanted to thank you all for the words of encouragement! I spoke with the office manager of the job position that I applied for and she told me that they were very interested and that she would call me by Friday to let me know. Again I really want this job! And since I am counting I am on day 33 without Nathan...
I wanted to talk a little bit about what God has been teaching me lately. He is stretching me! He has once again taken me out of my little comfort zone and placed me somewhere that I am uncomfortable. Two years ago I hated this place and now I love this place, this is when He shows you so much. You not only learn how much you have changed but you see things in you that you did not know where there. Prime example: the disagreement with Ray, granted this is two sided but this is what I have learned about myself because you truly can not look at what this did for him (Ray) you have to be willing to take every situation in life and see if and how it applies to you. Did that make sense? See there was this person in my past who I cared a great deal about and we had this one argument all the time, over his motorcycle. Stupid I know but work with here. I had promised myself that I would never let anyone make me feel like he did with that situation ever again. I never thought that Ray would do that to me and I let my guard down and was putting all my trust in him (depending on him etc.) That night when we were out on his bike Ray asked me something and when I told him no his remark was the same that my past had said! Ray had no idea at the time of this situation, and I just froze, I couldn't breathe. My past had confronted my present! Not good for me! LOL. I could not breath, I felt myself shutting down, I did not want him to touch me nor did I want to talk to him! It was the worst feeling ever, now in the past I would of just left that and put it on a shelf and just ignore it but now God doesn't let me. I felt like I had no choice I had to deal with this. STRETCHING!!!!!!!!!! It hurt so much, but as I prayed and I spoke the words to a friend I said to her am I blaming Ray for what happened in my past? Or do I have a right to be upset with him? Or is it both? And if so how do I get past this I see my past every time I look at him? Crazy right!!! No we do this all time and most of us do not even realize what is happening! After I spilled my guts to my friend she just laughed at me and said UHMMM did you need me? Because you just had a whole conversation without me and I think you got your answer! Its funny how that works. So I had to talk to God one more time and asked Him for grace to tell this to Ray and not take it out on him. I did have that talk with Ray and God gave me the words to tell Ray my story and the funny thing is when I was finished I felt whole and I knew God healed me while talking to Ray!
God is so cool!!
I went to bed last night in the arms of the man that I love and was very happy then this morning I awoke to the worst headache you could ever imagine! LOL. Ladies I have had a sinus migraine all day long, It hurts to touch the right side of my head and not to mention the fact if I try to focus on anything for too long then I start to see like 4 of the image!!! It has been such a long day! I have tried medicine, food, sleep, Ray bless his heart, even rubbed my head for me for an hour today while he was here on his lunch break. He says he loves me and only me. He is so sweet, I am really lucky I have one of those guys who gets the small things he is so good at that kind of stuff. He even sends me love text messages all the time. I then found out that I do not have any hot water. Our landlord has not paid the oil bill so we do not get hot water until sometime tomorrow, hopefully!
Ray is on duty tonight so I have the house to myself. I have tried to relax as much as possible. I took Ray his dinner and spent some time with him in the barricks. I do not know if I will ever get used to the military life. LOL.
I wanted to thank you all for the words of encouragement! I spoke with the office manager of the job position that I applied for and she told me that they were very interested and that she would call me by Friday to let me know. Again I really want this job! And since I am counting I am on day 33 without Nathan...
I wanted to talk a little bit about what God has been teaching me lately. He is stretching me! He has once again taken me out of my little comfort zone and placed me somewhere that I am uncomfortable. Two years ago I hated this place and now I love this place, this is when He shows you so much. You not only learn how much you have changed but you see things in you that you did not know where there. Prime example: the disagreement with Ray, granted this is two sided but this is what I have learned about myself because you truly can not look at what this did for him (Ray) you have to be willing to take every situation in life and see if and how it applies to you. Did that make sense? See there was this person in my past who I cared a great deal about and we had this one argument all the time, over his motorcycle. Stupid I know but work with here. I had promised myself that I would never let anyone make me feel like he did with that situation ever again. I never thought that Ray would do that to me and I let my guard down and was putting all my trust in him (depending on him etc.) That night when we were out on his bike Ray asked me something and when I told him no his remark was the same that my past had said! Ray had no idea at the time of this situation, and I just froze, I couldn't breathe. My past had confronted my present! Not good for me! LOL. I could not breath, I felt myself shutting down, I did not want him to touch me nor did I want to talk to him! It was the worst feeling ever, now in the past I would of just left that and put it on a shelf and just ignore it but now God doesn't let me. I felt like I had no choice I had to deal with this. STRETCHING!!!!!!!!!! It hurt so much, but as I prayed and I spoke the words to a friend I said to her am I blaming Ray for what happened in my past? Or do I have a right to be upset with him? Or is it both? And if so how do I get past this I see my past every time I look at him? Crazy right!!! No we do this all time and most of us do not even realize what is happening! After I spilled my guts to my friend she just laughed at me and said UHMMM did you need me? Because you just had a whole conversation without me and I think you got your answer! Its funny how that works. So I had to talk to God one more time and asked Him for grace to tell this to Ray and not take it out on him. I did have that talk with Ray and God gave me the words to tell Ray my story and the funny thing is when I was finished I felt whole and I knew God healed me while talking to Ray!
God is so cool!!
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
I'm alive!!!!!!
I'm alive! It has been crazy here! I have been busy doing absolutely nothing and I can't stand that! I am sure we all know what that feels like! I am a little frustrated right now in so many areas of my life, especially in my relationship and I need to vent so please disregard most of what I am about to say!
First thing: Ray and I have been arguing over something totally stupid so for the last couple of days there has been silence in this house.... I know this will pass and everyone goes through this but this is the stupidest argument ever!!! I know that is sad right! LOL By the way there is peace in the house now!) He's finally stopped argueing with me.
Second thing: I am on day 32 without my son and he doesn't want to come home yet!!! He does want me to bring the dog up to my parents for him but doesn't want to come home! GRRRRR!!!!! I know that I am his mom and we could just go and get him but he is having such a good time with my dad, my dad has just retired and he finally gets to spend his time with Nate and my dad is loving this. So not only do I cheat Nathan out of spending time with all the family but my dad misses out too! I try to remember that when I was a kid we had so much fun there and I listen to his stories and he is doing the same things that I did when I was his age which is good and if he was here he could not do any of that. Not to mention the fact that we live right dab in the middle of a big city and well our yard is ok fine we do not have one!!!!!LOL How can I blame him for not wanting to come back right now. But I do know that he misses me and he tells me that he loves us every night before he goes to bed!
Third thing: I do not have a church here and I can not seem to find one that I like, meaning somewhere that feels like home. Which means that I do not have any friends that I can touch and relate to on a daily basis. If that makes any sense to any of you!
Fourth thing: I still do not have a job! This is so frustrating and sometimes nice! I went on my third interview today with the office that I had told you about last month, the one that I liked but was not qualified for. They still have not filled the position, and today she told me that she would contact me by Friday to let me know one way or the other! Please pray about this I really want this job!
Fifth thing: This is the last one I promise! I have a friend back in Florida who I love dearly but she does not like Ray for several reason of her own, her ex was a marine, so she has a bad taste to start with and the big one Ray believes in God but does not go to church all the time! So when we started dating and I was not there all the time for my friend she started to resent our relationship even more. It came down to her asking me to choose between the two of them. Which I told her I would not do that to her and was amazed that she would even ask bla bla bla bla do we see where this is going? Now that I have moved this is even worse! Do I just stop contact with this person or what? So confused am I!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok Now that I have spilled my guts and sound like such a baby! Please understand that I know that God has this all under control and trust me we have had a few "arguments" over all of this too and He just loves me and laughs and says "SHE'S SO PRECIOUS"..... lol. Ray and I fell in love fast, within the first few months of us seeing each other, and that is what is going to make us last.
First thing: Ray and I have been arguing over something totally stupid so for the last couple of days there has been silence in this house.... I know this will pass and everyone goes through this but this is the stupidest argument ever!!! I know that is sad right! LOL By the way there is peace in the house now!) He's finally stopped argueing with me.
Second thing: I am on day 32 without my son and he doesn't want to come home yet!!! He does want me to bring the dog up to my parents for him but doesn't want to come home! GRRRRR!!!!! I know that I am his mom and we could just go and get him but he is having such a good time with my dad, my dad has just retired and he finally gets to spend his time with Nate and my dad is loving this. So not only do I cheat Nathan out of spending time with all the family but my dad misses out too! I try to remember that when I was a kid we had so much fun there and I listen to his stories and he is doing the same things that I did when I was his age which is good and if he was here he could not do any of that. Not to mention the fact that we live right dab in the middle of a big city and well our yard is ok fine we do not have one!!!!!LOL How can I blame him for not wanting to come back right now. But I do know that he misses me and he tells me that he loves us every night before he goes to bed!
Third thing: I do not have a church here and I can not seem to find one that I like, meaning somewhere that feels like home. Which means that I do not have any friends that I can touch and relate to on a daily basis. If that makes any sense to any of you!
Fourth thing: I still do not have a job! This is so frustrating and sometimes nice! I went on my third interview today with the office that I had told you about last month, the one that I liked but was not qualified for. They still have not filled the position, and today she told me that she would contact me by Friday to let me know one way or the other! Please pray about this I really want this job!
Fifth thing: This is the last one I promise! I have a friend back in Florida who I love dearly but she does not like Ray for several reason of her own, her ex was a marine, so she has a bad taste to start with and the big one Ray believes in God but does not go to church all the time! So when we started dating and I was not there all the time for my friend she started to resent our relationship even more. It came down to her asking me to choose between the two of them. Which I told her I would not do that to her and was amazed that she would even ask bla bla bla bla do we see where this is going? Now that I have moved this is even worse! Do I just stop contact with this person or what? So confused am I!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok Now that I have spilled my guts and sound like such a baby! Please understand that I know that God has this all under control and trust me we have had a few "arguments" over all of this too and He just loves me and laughs and says "SHE'S SO PRECIOUS"..... lol. Ray and I fell in love fast, within the first few months of us seeing each other, and that is what is going to make us last.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
I'm back!
Hello everyone! We made it back home safely after a very extended emergency leave. I do not know if you all know this yet but Ray's grandpa passed away on July 09,2006.
He was saved and we now know that he is sitting up above enjoying the view very much! I can honestly say that I did not know that man very well at all. We both had a wonderful time considering everything that happened.
By the way I am now going on day 27 without my son and I miss him so much and he still does not want to come home! How can I compete with the woods and playing with the boys! LOL
He was saved and we now know that he is sitting up above enjoying the view very much! I can honestly say that I did not know that man very well at all. We both had a wonderful time considering everything that happened.
By the way I am now going on day 27 without my son and I miss him so much and he still does not want to come home! How can I compete with the woods and playing with the boys! LOL
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