Ok I had told you guys that I was to be seen by my OB in two weeks to check the placement on my placenta (to see if it had moved) which is what we were told would happen. Well we get there and an ultrasound never happened. She decided to wait 4 more weeks to see if it has changed any, and if it hasn't then I start the bed rest and so on. But in the meantime, I had to give some more blood to see how many kidneys and liver are doing, which she said I will do every 2 weeks until I deliver. She is also making me collect urine for 24 hours, which by the way is so much fun! This is just to make sure that my organs are not in any danger. So at least I can say that she is trying to prevent Help Syndrome from hitting me again... Which I am thankful for... She told us that I am showing signs of distress now and if we can keep my blood pressure under control hopefully it will not get that bad this time...
So are you saying what was the good news? I can say that the baby is still moving around alot, she could not get his heart beat because he would not stay in one place long enough to time it... Which was kind of funny! Ray had never heard the baby's heartbeat before, so he enjoyed that. He has only been there for the ultrasounds, go figure! She also told me that I am loosing weight instead of gaining (I have no idea how) but that the baby is measuring bigger than he should be, so it is ok that i am not gaining, but we need to keep an eye on that as well... Girls I am telling you I feel like I eat all day long... I eat a healthy breakfast, then around 10 I eat a snack of some sort, yogurt, fruit or something, then I eat lunch around noon or so then a snack with Nathan when he comes home from school and then dinner... I am eating, so I guess the baby is taking it all from me.. the little pig!
Oh I almost forgot, I did ask if I could go back to work and I was told yes, but I can not lift anything over 20 lbs, I can not push anythign over 10 lbs, and I have to be aloud to sit every 4 hours and put my feet up so I can rest for 20 minutes! I was like I am a nurse how is that possible, she said yes I know but you have to be able to do that. Ray and I just looked at each other and laughed, we both know that is not going to happen... I think what I will try to do now is get a secretary job of some sort! I really do not know what else I can do at this point! But at least this may get me out of the house for a little bit until the baby is born!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
why does the weekends go by so fast?
I was sleeping so well this morning when I got such a rude awakening. The alarm clock ringing at 4:45 am. I was like what was that? Hubby simply said it is time for me to get up, I had to laugh because I truly thought that it was Sunday!!! But when realty sunk in, it was off to the normal routine....Yuck!
We had such a relaxing weekend. We finally got all of the weeds out of the back yard on Saturday! Yeah! We had to go rent a garden tiller for 4 hours to get the soil ready to be treated one last time, just in case we missed any roots. Then in three weeks we can start putting grass out!!! I know it sounds so simple but I am so excited about this.. When it gets healthy back there, I can start planting flowers and make it look pretty.. I don't want to do this until we make sure all the weeds are gone. So then they don't kill my plants that I just spent money on....
Sunday we spent the day on base, we went out to the cabanas to go spear fishing... Nathan's first remark was it feels like we are going home. LOL. We stayed out at the cabanas for a little over a week, when we first got here. Hubby met a guy at work who likes to spear fish as well so off they went, with sun block, and Nathan went off into to the water to do a little bit of snorkeling by himself with sunblock. While I got everything ready on the beach and lay out our blanket and sat down to enjoy the peace and quiet and possibly get a little sun but after doing all that I forgot to put sunblock on myself... I normally do not burn and I am used to the beach so the sun is my friend for the most part. But I was told that while you are pregnancy that you will get burned more easily. OMG I am freaking toasted!!! I do believe I was 15 minutes away from having blisters!!! My face, arms, tummy and legs hurt so bad!!! Only thing that is funny is that it is all on my front side, there is a definite line from front to back... Holy cow what was I thinking... LOL All I can do is laugh or I will just cry! No amount of aloe will help this...
So when we got home and showered and we all settled down, and I realize how bad the situation is, Nathan goes outside to play with his friend and within 10 minutes I get this scream that all mothers dread. "MOMMMMMMMY ! IT HURTS I CAN'T BREATHE" he got into the house and all the neighbors were out to see what had happened, to make sure he is OK, so there is my 11 year old son in the kitchen floor with the door open wide screaming at the top of his lungs for everyone to hear, I tripped over the root and fell onto a log and hurt my ribs, I can't breathe! He wouldn't even let me look at! He had a huge scratch on his chest wall and it without a doubt hurt bad! I finally got him to calm down and we put some ice on it and he finally got his breathing under control! I wasn't sure at first if he had broken a rib or just bruised it really bad, but after the ice had been on there for a little while the swelling was completely gone and there was no signs of damage there. I checked on him twice last night just to make sure I was right and he did fine, I even caught him sleeping on it last night, which confirmed it for me.
But this morning he acted like someone had tried to kill (I know it probably still hurts) but when your son can put his hands behind his head and do a full body stretch and cough he did not break a rib! He sure tried to get me to believe it though. I am sure it had nothing to do with not wanting to go to school this morning right... That one scared me I will be honest....
As far as the job goes, I am waiting to see what the doctor says on Wednesday!
We had such a relaxing weekend. We finally got all of the weeds out of the back yard on Saturday! Yeah! We had to go rent a garden tiller for 4 hours to get the soil ready to be treated one last time, just in case we missed any roots. Then in three weeks we can start putting grass out!!! I know it sounds so simple but I am so excited about this.. When it gets healthy back there, I can start planting flowers and make it look pretty.. I don't want to do this until we make sure all the weeds are gone. So then they don't kill my plants that I just spent money on....
Sunday we spent the day on base, we went out to the cabanas to go spear fishing... Nathan's first remark was it feels like we are going home. LOL. We stayed out at the cabanas for a little over a week, when we first got here. Hubby met a guy at work who likes to spear fish as well so off they went, with sun block, and Nathan went off into to the water to do a little bit of snorkeling by himself with sunblock. While I got everything ready on the beach and lay out our blanket and sat down to enjoy the peace and quiet and possibly get a little sun but after doing all that I forgot to put sunblock on myself... I normally do not burn and I am used to the beach so the sun is my friend for the most part. But I was told that while you are pregnancy that you will get burned more easily. OMG I am freaking toasted!!! I do believe I was 15 minutes away from having blisters!!! My face, arms, tummy and legs hurt so bad!!! Only thing that is funny is that it is all on my front side, there is a definite line from front to back... Holy cow what was I thinking... LOL All I can do is laugh or I will just cry! No amount of aloe will help this...
So when we got home and showered and we all settled down, and I realize how bad the situation is, Nathan goes outside to play with his friend and within 10 minutes I get this scream that all mothers dread. "MOMMMMMMMY ! IT HURTS I CAN'T BREATHE" he got into the house and all the neighbors were out to see what had happened, to make sure he is OK, so there is my 11 year old son in the kitchen floor with the door open wide screaming at the top of his lungs for everyone to hear, I tripped over the root and fell onto a log and hurt my ribs, I can't breathe! He wouldn't even let me look at! He had a huge scratch on his chest wall and it without a doubt hurt bad! I finally got him to calm down and we put some ice on it and he finally got his breathing under control! I wasn't sure at first if he had broken a rib or just bruised it really bad, but after the ice had been on there for a little while the swelling was completely gone and there was no signs of damage there. I checked on him twice last night just to make sure I was right and he did fine, I even caught him sleeping on it last night, which confirmed it for me.
But this morning he acted like someone had tried to kill (I know it probably still hurts) but when your son can put his hands behind his head and do a full body stretch and cough he did not break a rib! He sure tried to get me to believe it though. I am sure it had nothing to do with not wanting to go to school this morning right... That one scared me I will be honest....
As far as the job goes, I am waiting to see what the doctor says on Wednesday!
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Questions I can not seem to find an answer too!
As I had told you guys my last doctors appointment did not go as planned and now since the cramping has not gotten any better, maybe a little worse I am assuming that my placenta has not moved up any at all... So now I find myself stuck. Do I continue to look for a job for the doctor to only tell me sorry you are on bed rest now you can't work, or do I find something. And if I do then do I find something that is part time or full time. And if i do look for a job, do I look for something in the nursing field that will require me to be on my feet all day and all the heavy lifting that will be required? I really do not want to stay at home all the time, its been three weeks here and I think at some points I am loosing my mind. LOL Just ask Charla she knows. I have her scared. LOL...
Ray is of course no help here, he wants me to work for my sanity(he knows I do not like being at home all day everyday, I like to work) but he doesn't want me to work and then hurt the baby too, so he does not have any suggestions other than " what ever you feel like you should do we will be fine money wise either way" No help there right! My mom says stay at home only because of the pregnancy I had with my son. I was put at high risk around my fourth month. then on bed rest at home for a month (I had bathroom privileges only) then in the hospital for a month before I had him at 7 months... So they have legitimate concerns there.
I am so frustrated! I wish my next doctors appointment didn't feel like it was so far away. By the way it is only next Wednesday but man it feels like its a month...
Any suggestions? You can go ahead and tell me that I am making a mountain out of a mole hill and I need to wait until my next doctors appointment, I will understand. i do this from time to time when I have entirely too much free time on my hands... LOL
Ray is of course no help here, he wants me to work for my sanity(he knows I do not like being at home all day everyday, I like to work) but he doesn't want me to work and then hurt the baby too, so he does not have any suggestions other than " what ever you feel like you should do we will be fine money wise either way" No help there right! My mom says stay at home only because of the pregnancy I had with my son. I was put at high risk around my fourth month. then on bed rest at home for a month (I had bathroom privileges only) then in the hospital for a month before I had him at 7 months... So they have legitimate concerns there.
I am so frustrated! I wish my next doctors appointment didn't feel like it was so far away. By the way it is only next Wednesday but man it feels like its a month...
Any suggestions? You can go ahead and tell me that I am making a mountain out of a mole hill and I need to wait until my next doctors appointment, I will understand. i do this from time to time when I have entirely too much free time on my hands... LOL
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Stairway to Heaven
Having seen this stairway with my very own eyes, this mans story is so funny to me, becuase I can only imgine how he would of felt. This is no joke, this is actually one of the first things that we saw when we were heading to the base for the very first time. It goes up the mountain beside the interstate. I could not believe my eyes when I saw it, and I will admit the very first thing that goes through your head is I want to do that. (mine left real fast, but the thought was there) I have enclosed a little bit of history of the stairs at the bottom...
Falling from the Stairway to Heaven
After spending three years in Hawaii, I am often asked what was the most difficult and challenging hike I completed. My response normally entails a narrowing of the eyes, followed by a far off look with my voice becoming extremly grave. On occasion, I've even been told I look like a Vietnam veteran going through some kind of horrendous flashback.
The hike was the "Haiku Stairway," as the locals tend to call it. Everyone else on the face of the planet simply refers to it as the Stairway to Heaven.
On my first attempt, I was unable to finish the hike and it almost killed me.
Interesting factoid, the stairs were featuered in an old episode of the classic Magnum P.I. TV show staring Tom Selleck.
And since so many unusual events took place around the time I first attempted to climb Stairway to Heaven in April of 2005, I think it's only fair to recount the experience using a chronological format:
Thursday 10am-4pm: Waste away at beach
After spending three years in Hawaii, I am often asked what was the most difficult and challenging hike I completed. My response normally entails a narrowing of the eyes, followed by a far off look with my voice becoming extremly grave. On occasion, I've even been told I look like a Vietnam veteran going through some kind of horrendous flashback.
The hike was the "Haiku Stairway," as the locals tend to call it. Everyone else on the face of the planet simply refers to it as the Stairway to Heaven.
On my first attempt, I was unable to finish the hike and it almost killed me.
Interesting factoid, the stairs were featuered in an old episode of the classic Magnum P.I. TV show staring Tom Selleck.
And since so many unusual events took place around the time I first attempted to climb Stairway to Heaven in April of 2005, I think it's only fair to recount the experience using a chronological format:
Thursday 10am-4pm: Waste away at beach
Thursday 5-8pm: Cook salmon dinner for friends in celebration of best friend's fiancé whom has just flown over from Utah. Decide to go hiking at 2am in morning.
Thursday 8-10pm: Quickly finish up senseless internet work. Chew out boss yet again. Contemplate quitting for millionth time since already have two jobs.
Thursday-Friday 10pm-2am: Decide sleeping till 2am would be pointless. Instead play video games on XBox. Hope my friend Ben back in Kansas would be proud. Begin feeling sick with extreme cold symptoms. Gulp down two tablespoons of Dayquil.
Friday 2am-3:30am: Depart for Kaneohe in back of truck -- hillbilly style. Destination: The Stairway to Heaven. 3,922 rickety metal stairs leading up the side of a sheer cliff.
Friday 3:45am: Hop first two fences. Am told by friends hike is technically "illegal." Am told locals hate hikers and endeavor to make life difficult for us. Discover shortly thereafter locals have trucked in a butt-load of bamboo shucks to make jumping tallest fence next to impossible.
Friday 3:48am: Laugh at the local's stupidly. Get to top of fence within 3 minutes in spite of bamboo.
Friday 3:49am: Jump fence only to discover hidden barb wire on the other side. Barb wire tears my favorite hiking pants in two places, makes a huge gash in my kneecap. Say silent prayer hoping chicks really do like guys with scars as I have just added my 5th one.
Friday 3:59am: Assure friends wound isn’t bad given amount of blood lost – feel very fortunate to have had a tetanus shot within last 8 months. Finally get to base of stairs. Begin hike.
Friday 4:15am: Discover hike is a lot like a supercharged version of the Stairmaster -- only this one forces you to go for 1.5 hours before you're done.
Friday 4:25am: Feel sick. Really sick. Nausea sets in. Become really dizzy.
Friday 4:30am: Stop climbing altogether. Hang onto mountain side for dear life.
Friday 4:31am: Begin puking.
Friday 4:36am: Still puking.
Friday 4:42am: You guessed it, puking continues
Friday 4:45am: Friend says that it might be smart if I stopped hiking. I call him an ass and send him on his way.
Friday 4:48am: Stomach settles to the point where I feel safe drinking water. Alone. Desolate on the side of a jagged mountain.
Friday 4:50am: Discover stomach was not as strong as I thought it was. Resume vomiting.
Friday at 5:00am: Other friend comes down off of cliff. Due to his rather unusual Arthurian name, I give him the nickname of the Wizard. The Wizard has done every hike a million times. Has work at 8am. Says he's here to make sure I get down ok. Wants to use my sickness as an excuse to get some sleep in back of truck. I say fine.
Friday at 5:15am: Get completely down the stairs in 15 minutes. Going down is so much easier than up.
Friday at 5:17am: Realize there's no bloody way in hell we're getting over the bamboo/barbwire fence from this side. Begin trek to find alternate route.
Friday at 5:45am: After about 2 miles, find abandoned shack with hole cut in fence behind it. Stumble around in the darkness for another half hour in the woods trying to find way back to civilization.
Friday at 6:15am: Sun rises. The wizard is back in his truck sleeping. I lay down on grass next to sidewalk like crazed homeless man -- pants ripped and all. Locals begin going on jogs/going to work. They pass my mangled, bloody body by and scoff. I make quasi-vulgar comments in response.
Friday at 7:00am: Rest of friends return from hike. Another van full of BYUH dorks pulls up ready to hike. Local woman suddenly storms out of house. Say they have called cops, taken down license plate names and curse at us.
Friday at 7:05am: Drive away from scene like bat out of hell after hearing sirens in the distance.
Friday at 8:30am: Get back to Laie. Girls inform us they require food for breakfast. Best friend tells fiance he'll get her food and for all the girls to go cleanup while the guys go to Ted's Bakery for apple turnovers.
Friday at 8:31 am: Best friend gets several threatening glares from all males present.
Friday at 9:05 am: Arrive at Ted's Bakery next to Sunset Beach. Discover bakery is out of turnovers. Buy apple strudels instead, causing best friend to ask, "What the hell is a strudel?" Many funny remarks follow in response.
Friday at 9:40 am: Get back to girls, give them their strudels. Leave to shower and go into work. Finish off first bottle of Dayquil. Begin second. Pray my stamina lasts.
On a closing note, the moral of the story is you shouldn't hike while sick. If you ever attempt this technically "forbidden" trail it would be most wise of you do do so while in good shape.
If 90 minutes working the stairmaster on a difficult setting kills you, find another hike.
If 90 minutes working the stairmaster on a difficult setting kills you, find another hike.
I do not agree with this man's view on the locals here, I am sure he had the comments coming to him, and he is correct about you not being able to use the stairway, and the fence with the bamboo. The locals aren't trying to keep you out of it, its more of a safety thing... the wooden ladder was first built in December 1943 during World War II the men would run up to the top of the mountain to get a radio signal. it was a top secret antena (I would of hated to have that job). Then in 1955 it was replaced with a steel ladder with a railing, it was then decommissioned two years later and given to the Coast Guard in 1971 and was used for for the Omega Radionavigation System and then was later closed in 1977. When the H3 interstate was built hikers started getting shocked when they would go up the stairs which is why they do not let people on the stairs. (but it doesn't stop them) The gates are apparently guarded 8 hours a day M-F buy trucks who travel the area three times a day. Go figure.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Hello! Well it is Monday afternoon here and it is in the high 80's and all I keep thinking is they say this is the cold months! I can't believe it. Since we moved into this house, we have had the windows open and the fans going. I am not so sure about all of this... LOL
We all had such a good weekend! Nathan and Ray got rid of the forest in our back yard. So the neighbors have called it.. I really do not think that, the back yard has had much attention in a very long time. Ray and Nathan pulled out 6 old trees with the jeep, by the way Nathan was driving the jeep while they did this, it scared me to death..... I thought I was going to have a heart attack watching my 11 year old jump in the drivers seat and drive when he has never done that before... He did a very good job, I must say! So they pulled out weeds, trees, and veins that had been there for the last 12 years! Nathan also got to run a chain saw for the first time ever too. Yeah that one truly caused some stress to the baby. Ray watched him very close but still it scared me. Those things are so dangerous. Of course I was told by my son to let him be a man...But anyway the yard was a mess. They managed to clean the back yard out in 2 days! The neighbors were all so happy! As you can only imagine. They also had to put some kind of local weed killer down so the veins will not grow back, it apparently keeps growing and because no one took care of it in our yard it spread to the next 4 houses and they can't get rid of it because ours was still growing.. LOL... See why they were so happy!
While the boys were doing that I attempted to paint the border in the living room a dark brown, which I was against. By the time I had finished one room, I managed to convince everyone in the house how much of a bad idea this was. So now they want to paint the walls a darker color to match the trim, I went on strike, I am doing no more... LOL.. I will just have to get used to the dark border because I am not painting anything else. I refuse!
Saturday evening were invited to our neighbors house warming party, and we had so much fun. We live in an area where they are all locals except us! Peoples families have owned there land for generations. There was probably 50 people there and we new only the neighbors who invited us. I got a crash course on names and can only remember two of them and one of them has the same name as mine.... How convenient was that! These people had three tables full of food! I had never seen anything like it before in my life! We had such a good time. I learned alot about the food, and let me tell you how different it is! I seen stuff that was not cooked, things that had suckers on it (octopus) and so much more.. The only thing I recognized was the hot dog and hamburger section! I tried what I was allowed to eat and what looked liked it was cooked! It was all very good! I learned that you have the Hawaiian, Japeneese, Phillipines and some Korean cultures to learn. I would tell you some of the names of the dishes that I tried but like the peoples names I can't! All I can remember is that what we call octopus, is called squid here and the locals call it "taco". All of the fish have different names here so I have no idea what I am trying. I had to have a translator explain all the food to me, it was so funny! She was very nice and patient with me....
The other odd thing is, well not odd, just different is that all of the kids call grown ups auntie and uncle. So I now have an extended family of little kids calling Ray and I aunt and uncle. Which by the way only makes it harder when you are trying to match up the family tree! Its all one big family here and it is kind of nice. I am learning family is very important here, which is such a nice relief. It's the little things like we are not weird now for never having cable here, no one around here has it, its more family functions then watching TV. Its kind of nice for a change.
I have to tell you this, Nathan was invited to go spend his summer break in Maui with one of the grandma's daughters. She has a huge horse farm there. I have known these people like 2 weeks and they invite my son to spend a month with them. After getting home and Ray and I were talking, the sad thing is, I would trust these people with Nathan more than I would most of the people that I had known for a year in Virginia. Its crazy!
Updates on the baby are as follows: No more bleeding and only little cramping which is to be expected considering where my placenta is hanging out at! I go back to the doctor next week to find out more. I will keep you posted!
Thank you all for the kind comments that you had for me regarding my last blog. Ray and I are getting along alot better now. Maybe Christina was right and its the dreaded military move story and mine was just really bad. But it had better not happen the next time we move....
We all had such a good weekend! Nathan and Ray got rid of the forest in our back yard. So the neighbors have called it.. I really do not think that, the back yard has had much attention in a very long time. Ray and Nathan pulled out 6 old trees with the jeep, by the way Nathan was driving the jeep while they did this, it scared me to death..... I thought I was going to have a heart attack watching my 11 year old jump in the drivers seat and drive when he has never done that before... He did a very good job, I must say! So they pulled out weeds, trees, and veins that had been there for the last 12 years! Nathan also got to run a chain saw for the first time ever too. Yeah that one truly caused some stress to the baby. Ray watched him very close but still it scared me. Those things are so dangerous. Of course I was told by my son to let him be a man...But anyway the yard was a mess. They managed to clean the back yard out in 2 days! The neighbors were all so happy! As you can only imagine. They also had to put some kind of local weed killer down so the veins will not grow back, it apparently keeps growing and because no one took care of it in our yard it spread to the next 4 houses and they can't get rid of it because ours was still growing.. LOL... See why they were so happy!
While the boys were doing that I attempted to paint the border in the living room a dark brown, which I was against. By the time I had finished one room, I managed to convince everyone in the house how much of a bad idea this was. So now they want to paint the walls a darker color to match the trim, I went on strike, I am doing no more... LOL.. I will just have to get used to the dark border because I am not painting anything else. I refuse!
Saturday evening were invited to our neighbors house warming party, and we had so much fun. We live in an area where they are all locals except us! Peoples families have owned there land for generations. There was probably 50 people there and we new only the neighbors who invited us. I got a crash course on names and can only remember two of them and one of them has the same name as mine.... How convenient was that! These people had three tables full of food! I had never seen anything like it before in my life! We had such a good time. I learned alot about the food, and let me tell you how different it is! I seen stuff that was not cooked, things that had suckers on it (octopus) and so much more.. The only thing I recognized was the hot dog and hamburger section! I tried what I was allowed to eat and what looked liked it was cooked! It was all very good! I learned that you have the Hawaiian, Japeneese, Phillipines and some Korean cultures to learn. I would tell you some of the names of the dishes that I tried but like the peoples names I can't! All I can remember is that what we call octopus, is called squid here and the locals call it "taco". All of the fish have different names here so I have no idea what I am trying. I had to have a translator explain all the food to me, it was so funny! She was very nice and patient with me....
The other odd thing is, well not odd, just different is that all of the kids call grown ups auntie and uncle. So I now have an extended family of little kids calling Ray and I aunt and uncle. Which by the way only makes it harder when you are trying to match up the family tree! Its all one big family here and it is kind of nice. I am learning family is very important here, which is such a nice relief. It's the little things like we are not weird now for never having cable here, no one around here has it, its more family functions then watching TV. Its kind of nice for a change.
I have to tell you this, Nathan was invited to go spend his summer break in Maui with one of the grandma's daughters. She has a huge horse farm there. I have known these people like 2 weeks and they invite my son to spend a month with them. After getting home and Ray and I were talking, the sad thing is, I would trust these people with Nathan more than I would most of the people that I had known for a year in Virginia. Its crazy!
Updates on the baby are as follows: No more bleeding and only little cramping which is to be expected considering where my placenta is hanging out at! I go back to the doctor next week to find out more. I will keep you posted!
Thank you all for the kind comments that you had for me regarding my last blog. Ray and I are getting along alot better now. Maybe Christina was right and its the dreaded military move story and mine was just really bad. But it had better not happen the next time we move....
Thursday, April 12, 2007
So sorry I have disappeared
Wow it has been such a long rode to go down to get where i am at today! Let me explain. But first let me worn you, I am about to be as brutally honest as I can be; but this is my journal right, I do not have to act like things are cookie cutter when there not. Right! Well with that being said hold on.
We (my family) just PCSed to our new duty station and I was not so sure that my family was going to survive this move. See Ray and I just got married as of Feb. and we have a baby on the way along with an 11 year old. This was my first move with the military and it did not go over very well, it started with him (Ray) telling me what all needed to be left behind, like for example "we need to keep towels here so we will have them after they pack all of our stuff and for when we get there" no problems right so I say I will leave out 3 towels and 3 beach towels for us that should be enough right?! he agrees, it comes time to pack all of our bags/boxes for the plane ride and there is not enough room, or the box will weigh over the 50 lbs aloud. This translated means "I packed to much shit" his words. Even though I asked him about this and he agreed it is now my fault. Of course, it's always my fault. Trust me the list goes on and on. We continue to fight over just about everything, I have too much stuff we don't have the room for this and I need to get rid of this and I need to get rid of that. I am telling you before I left we had spent the last two weeks there fighting with each other. And he was always making it out to be me, or how I have to always make it about me. In the long run we were aloud on 9,000 lbs of house hold goods to be shipped to our new duty station. He wanted to take his boat with us which is 4500 lbs, which cuts into our house hold goods weight. See where I am going with this. I am expected to get rid of all the house hold stuff and all of the things from my storage unit, so he can bring a freaking boat with us!!! I was fine with getting rid of alot of it because we had two of things or it just wasn't needed. But trust me it was not pretty, trust me.
So we finally get on the plane at 0630 and after fighting and yelling, and me crying the last thing I want to do is sit on a plane for 11 plus hours beside him. As you can imagine I am screaming at myself saying "why are you doing this to yourself. It's him not you. Stay here! Its only going to get worse!" Do I listen to myself? No ! I just text message Charla telling her I think I have made the biggest mistake of my life. (Because that will help right) But we get there finally and I put on a smile and try to act like I love my husband and am so happy to be here and by his side in front of all the people on base when all I truly want to do is stab him with a knife.
We finally get to the lodge where we will be staying until we can find a place to live. he goes to work and we (my son and I) are stuck in a hotel room with a list of things that I am too while he is gone. Like get insurance on the new jeep that he had bought and try to find a place off base to live and find a job for me. Easy right no not so easy... Because of my husband's driving record no one would insure him. So we ended up paying a huge amount for the insurance and no luck on finding a place off base, no one on this island will take dogs, especially big dogs. So we wait around for the first couple of days and no luck with the house hunting. But since I am pregnant, the on base housing gave us a three bedroom house here on base, most people are on a waiting list for over a year before they get in, they give us one in 3 days! Ray will not take it because they will not let his dog on base! He refuses! Now this man who I must call my husband is putting a freaking dog before his family and unborn child. I was livid. I really thought I was going to loose it. So needless to say we lost the funding for temporary housing, which is free, because he would not take it because of a stupid dog, who by the way is in Florida until sometime this summer! He said he didn't want to add to my stress by having to move when I am close to my due date. Seriously a dog or your family which do you pick!!!! GRRRRRR I am so frustrated with him. Not to mention I kind of hate that dog!
So we then move out of the lodge and into a cabana, that has two queen size beds and a sink a little refrigerator and a dresser, no bathroom, no TV no phone no nothing. We have to walk to the community bathroom!!!! I am so much happier here can't you tell. This is when things get really bad, what your shocked you didn't think it could get worse oh it does...... Ray decides to go by the boys some snorkeling equipment and he teaches Nathan how to use it and they go play around, which is fine. They had fun. Then he buys me some and we go to a place on the island that is known for snorkeling and when we get there everything is fine. We go out in the water now mind you I do not like to breath out of my mouth I freak out when I can't breath out my nose, I have never worn flippers nor have i worn goggles, I never like the not being able to breath out my nose thing. Can you see where this is going. Yep! Nathan freaks out because he now has a current to deal with that he did not have at the pool and he can't touch. I ask Ray to give me a few minutes to get used to this before I go out there and do the freak out! No such luck. He gets mad and long story short gets out of the water and acts like a baby. As usual. I tell Nathan to play in the water where he can touch and I will be right back. I go and try to talk to him and he starts yelling at me when other people can here this. I am not at all happy with him at this point and he refuses to get in the water again. REFUSES!!!! He acts like such a baby so much, and it's always Ray's way or no way. Again, it's all about Ray. So we leave there with another huge fight at hand. I am now to afraid to do anything and live by fear. and so on and so on and my son and baby will be the same way.... bla bla bla..It went on and on. I told him if he spent have of time trying to saying positive things about me then maybe his situation would change but since all he can find is negative I was not so sure of why we were even here. (I assure he was not like this at all before i got pregnant, or I never would of allowed that to happen) He then informed me that, if I left that he would sign over all of his rights to the baby and would have nothing to do with it, that he was not having a kid that he would not be able to see. All I could say was WOW!
I disappeared for like 2 hours and just cried, the whole time. I called a friend of mine and told her what was going on and she did the freak out and now has her spare bedroom turned into my room. lol... So from there on we spoke as little as we possibly could to each other and it usually wasn't very nice when we did, I slept with my son and did as much as I could to be away from Ray. I seriously was planning on moving back to the mainlands. I just had to wait for my car and our stuff to get here so I could then ship it back to where ever I was going.
Ray then found a house, after 8 days of being at the cabanas. We moved in on the Saturday before Easter. After we got moved in and had a little time to relax he seemed to be calming down and trying to be nicer it too me again. Like he just flipped a switch and expected me to do the same. It's always me that has to say sorry and me that has to pretend like nothing is wrong. I tend to hold on to things like that and not just act like it did not happen. So as we get ready for bed and he tries to hug me I look at him and said please do not touch me, we both know if it wasn't for this baby I would not be here and I am not sure why that is making me stay. Good night! Was I wrong yeah, but it is how I felt at the time.
I then got up Easter morning to go by Nathan his Easter present, yes with everything else I forgot it was Easter. So I go get ready and I come out of the bathroom and all I can say to Ray is I am bleeding, he said I know, the bed was soaked. He asked if I was ok and I said I do not know.. After 6 hours at the ER I found out that I was ok but that due to all the stress from moving and so on, I started to bleed that sometimes that happens and that I was not eating enough and I was very dehydrated. But during the ultrasound I found out that I am having a boy!
That whole experience was my wake up call. I have to put everything else aside and think about this baby. I told Ray what the doctor had said, he got hear some of it but not all because he stayed with Nathan who was a little to freaked out to be in there with me all the time (the poor kid). I then explained everything to him and he definitely needed some time for all that to sink in then I realized he did not understand the severity of it all. So after a nice long talk without yelling or crying I think he got it.
I then went to my new doctors appointment yesterday and he went with me. We go and she does another ultrasound and finds out why I am spotting now. I have a partial placenta previa. My placenta is covering half of my cervix. Not good. So I am now on complete pelvic rest until after the baby is born and no stress, no heavy lifting, no major house cleaning, no mopping and so on. I go home and we look it up on the Internet and he gets to read all of the facts, with the side effects and he now completely understands how serious this can be. He is now concerned and keeps asking me questions about what all happened with Nathan because things were so complicated with him as well. Looking back I am assuming that I had this same problem with Nathan and that is why I hemorrhaged after I had him, I remember them saying that my placenta had stuck to my wall but I was so Young and there was so much wrong with me then.
I wake up this morning, get Nathan sent off to school and lay back down for a minute and then my phone rings and wakes up both Ray and I, its my doctor's office. The doctor looked over my records of my previous pregnancy and she wants me to start taking a baby aspirin everyday until after the baby is born, and that my placenta issue is an even bigger deal than first thought and that the pelvic rest is a must and that my appointment is being bumped up even sooner because my labs came back abnormal and it is a good possibility that the pre eclampsia and HELP syndrome are returning. Apparently my liver and kidneys are already showing signs of trouble. So with tears in my eyes I hang up and look at Ray and realize he heard everything that she said and that was his wake up call.
So in a nut shell I am coming out of one type of hell and feel as if I am going into another. Its a little scary for me, although i thought the timing was good enough to have another one. Even tho this wasn't fully planned.
For now things seem to be getting better between Ray and I. Do I think that this is just due to the stress of moving? Some of the behaviors yes but that does not make it ok by any means. I know this is happening for a reason and some times you have to take the long road around before arriving. I am praying that this is the case with us as well.
I will keep you updated and thank you for listening to me complain. I feel so much better now.
We (my family) just PCSed to our new duty station and I was not so sure that my family was going to survive this move. See Ray and I just got married as of Feb. and we have a baby on the way along with an 11 year old. This was my first move with the military and it did not go over very well, it started with him (Ray) telling me what all needed to be left behind, like for example "we need to keep towels here so we will have them after they pack all of our stuff and for when we get there" no problems right so I say I will leave out 3 towels and 3 beach towels for us that should be enough right?! he agrees, it comes time to pack all of our bags/boxes for the plane ride and there is not enough room, or the box will weigh over the 50 lbs aloud. This translated means "I packed to much shit" his words. Even though I asked him about this and he agreed it is now my fault. Of course, it's always my fault. Trust me the list goes on and on. We continue to fight over just about everything, I have too much stuff we don't have the room for this and I need to get rid of this and I need to get rid of that. I am telling you before I left we had spent the last two weeks there fighting with each other. And he was always making it out to be me, or how I have to always make it about me. In the long run we were aloud on 9,000 lbs of house hold goods to be shipped to our new duty station. He wanted to take his boat with us which is 4500 lbs, which cuts into our house hold goods weight. See where I am going with this. I am expected to get rid of all the house hold stuff and all of the things from my storage unit, so he can bring a freaking boat with us!!! I was fine with getting rid of alot of it because we had two of things or it just wasn't needed. But trust me it was not pretty, trust me.
So we finally get on the plane at 0630 and after fighting and yelling, and me crying the last thing I want to do is sit on a plane for 11 plus hours beside him. As you can imagine I am screaming at myself saying "why are you doing this to yourself. It's him not you. Stay here! Its only going to get worse!" Do I listen to myself? No ! I just text message Charla telling her I think I have made the biggest mistake of my life. (Because that will help right) But we get there finally and I put on a smile and try to act like I love my husband and am so happy to be here and by his side in front of all the people on base when all I truly want to do is stab him with a knife.
We finally get to the lodge where we will be staying until we can find a place to live. he goes to work and we (my son and I) are stuck in a hotel room with a list of things that I am too while he is gone. Like get insurance on the new jeep that he had bought and try to find a place off base to live and find a job for me. Easy right no not so easy... Because of my husband's driving record no one would insure him. So we ended up paying a huge amount for the insurance and no luck on finding a place off base, no one on this island will take dogs, especially big dogs. So we wait around for the first couple of days and no luck with the house hunting. But since I am pregnant, the on base housing gave us a three bedroom house here on base, most people are on a waiting list for over a year before they get in, they give us one in 3 days! Ray will not take it because they will not let his dog on base! He refuses! Now this man who I must call my husband is putting a freaking dog before his family and unborn child. I was livid. I really thought I was going to loose it. So needless to say we lost the funding for temporary housing, which is free, because he would not take it because of a stupid dog, who by the way is in Florida until sometime this summer! He said he didn't want to add to my stress by having to move when I am close to my due date. Seriously a dog or your family which do you pick!!!! GRRRRRR I am so frustrated with him. Not to mention I kind of hate that dog!
So we then move out of the lodge and into a cabana, that has two queen size beds and a sink a little refrigerator and a dresser, no bathroom, no TV no phone no nothing. We have to walk to the community bathroom!!!! I am so much happier here can't you tell. This is when things get really bad, what your shocked you didn't think it could get worse oh it does...... Ray decides to go by the boys some snorkeling equipment and he teaches Nathan how to use it and they go play around, which is fine. They had fun. Then he buys me some and we go to a place on the island that is known for snorkeling and when we get there everything is fine. We go out in the water now mind you I do not like to breath out of my mouth I freak out when I can't breath out my nose, I have never worn flippers nor have i worn goggles, I never like the not being able to breath out my nose thing. Can you see where this is going. Yep! Nathan freaks out because he now has a current to deal with that he did not have at the pool and he can't touch. I ask Ray to give me a few minutes to get used to this before I go out there and do the freak out! No such luck. He gets mad and long story short gets out of the water and acts like a baby. As usual. I tell Nathan to play in the water where he can touch and I will be right back. I go and try to talk to him and he starts yelling at me when other people can here this. I am not at all happy with him at this point and he refuses to get in the water again. REFUSES!!!! He acts like such a baby so much, and it's always Ray's way or no way. Again, it's all about Ray. So we leave there with another huge fight at hand. I am now to afraid to do anything and live by fear. and so on and so on and my son and baby will be the same way.... bla bla bla..It went on and on. I told him if he spent have of time trying to saying positive things about me then maybe his situation would change but since all he can find is negative I was not so sure of why we were even here. (I assure he was not like this at all before i got pregnant, or I never would of allowed that to happen) He then informed me that, if I left that he would sign over all of his rights to the baby and would have nothing to do with it, that he was not having a kid that he would not be able to see. All I could say was WOW!
I disappeared for like 2 hours and just cried, the whole time. I called a friend of mine and told her what was going on and she did the freak out and now has her spare bedroom turned into my room. lol... So from there on we spoke as little as we possibly could to each other and it usually wasn't very nice when we did, I slept with my son and did as much as I could to be away from Ray. I seriously was planning on moving back to the mainlands. I just had to wait for my car and our stuff to get here so I could then ship it back to where ever I was going.
Ray then found a house, after 8 days of being at the cabanas. We moved in on the Saturday before Easter. After we got moved in and had a little time to relax he seemed to be calming down and trying to be nicer it too me again. Like he just flipped a switch and expected me to do the same. It's always me that has to say sorry and me that has to pretend like nothing is wrong. I tend to hold on to things like that and not just act like it did not happen. So as we get ready for bed and he tries to hug me I look at him and said please do not touch me, we both know if it wasn't for this baby I would not be here and I am not sure why that is making me stay. Good night! Was I wrong yeah, but it is how I felt at the time.
I then got up Easter morning to go by Nathan his Easter present, yes with everything else I forgot it was Easter. So I go get ready and I come out of the bathroom and all I can say to Ray is I am bleeding, he said I know, the bed was soaked. He asked if I was ok and I said I do not know.. After 6 hours at the ER I found out that I was ok but that due to all the stress from moving and so on, I started to bleed that sometimes that happens and that I was not eating enough and I was very dehydrated. But during the ultrasound I found out that I am having a boy!
That whole experience was my wake up call. I have to put everything else aside and think about this baby. I told Ray what the doctor had said, he got hear some of it but not all because he stayed with Nathan who was a little to freaked out to be in there with me all the time (the poor kid). I then explained everything to him and he definitely needed some time for all that to sink in then I realized he did not understand the severity of it all. So after a nice long talk without yelling or crying I think he got it.
I then went to my new doctors appointment yesterday and he went with me. We go and she does another ultrasound and finds out why I am spotting now. I have a partial placenta previa. My placenta is covering half of my cervix. Not good. So I am now on complete pelvic rest until after the baby is born and no stress, no heavy lifting, no major house cleaning, no mopping and so on. I go home and we look it up on the Internet and he gets to read all of the facts, with the side effects and he now completely understands how serious this can be. He is now concerned and keeps asking me questions about what all happened with Nathan because things were so complicated with him as well. Looking back I am assuming that I had this same problem with Nathan and that is why I hemorrhaged after I had him, I remember them saying that my placenta had stuck to my wall but I was so Young and there was so much wrong with me then.
I wake up this morning, get Nathan sent off to school and lay back down for a minute and then my phone rings and wakes up both Ray and I, its my doctor's office. The doctor looked over my records of my previous pregnancy and she wants me to start taking a baby aspirin everyday until after the baby is born, and that my placenta issue is an even bigger deal than first thought and that the pelvic rest is a must and that my appointment is being bumped up even sooner because my labs came back abnormal and it is a good possibility that the pre eclampsia and HELP syndrome are returning. Apparently my liver and kidneys are already showing signs of trouble. So with tears in my eyes I hang up and look at Ray and realize he heard everything that she said and that was his wake up call.
So in a nut shell I am coming out of one type of hell and feel as if I am going into another. Its a little scary for me, although i thought the timing was good enough to have another one. Even tho this wasn't fully planned.
For now things seem to be getting better between Ray and I. Do I think that this is just due to the stress of moving? Some of the behaviors yes but that does not make it ok by any means. I know this is happening for a reason and some times you have to take the long road around before arriving. I am praying that this is the case with us as well.
I will keep you updated and thank you for listening to me complain. I feel so much better now.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Add ons
Since Charla told everyone about her exciting news I thought that I would share mine as well. Ray and I got married on February 14th. He didn't want to wait any longer, so we decided to go ahead and go to the justice of the peace in Virginia and get married before the move to Hawaii and plan on doing a wedding here on the beach with our family, including our new addition. So we did it, not how we imagined getting married just as long as we are married...
Just thought that I would join in on the wedding bliss!!!!
Just thought that I would join in on the wedding bliss!!!!
New Place of Home.....Hawaii
Well we made it! We now live in Hawaii!!! We got here on Tuesday and it has been non stop since. Ray was told that as soon as he got here we would have to sign in and he would start his 10 days of house hunting, well as we all know with the military that means that he had to work all day and he should start the house hunting next week! I hope. As for now we are homeless! We are staying in the lodge on base, well actually we are staying at the cabanas. they consist of two queen size beds, a small refrigerator, a sink and a dresser! The bathroom and showers are outside and down the side walk. It is like we are staying at camp all over again!!!! Its really not that bad, we are right on the beach, so we are having all kinds of fun there.
Nathan has already made friends, he met a couple of kids on the beach that are in the same situation we are, waiting on housing. So they have been out in the water all day trying to get some fish, all they have really seen are two small sharks! Go figure right!!!!!
The baby and I are doing fine. We are both growing! I am 15 weeks and 3 days now. I need to make a appointment to go get seen next week, and maybe just maybe we will be able to see what the sex of the baby is.. I am excited about that. I want to know, I can't imagine the thought of not knowing. Now watch the baby will not cooperate and we will not know. If the baby continues on the same trail, we will not find out! At my old job we used to play around and take pictures on the ultrasound machine all the time, and the last couple of times we did that, the baby would be playing with the cord and jerking it everywhere! It is so cute to watch him/her to do that. I have pictures of the baby stroking its head, of it sucking it's thumb, of the baby playing with the cord and plenty more!!!
Well Nathan is still down at the beach and I will admit I am getting nervous with me not being down there with him, so I am going to go and I will be in touch soon! I miss you guys and will try to stop by and see each of you real soon!
Nathan has already made friends, he met a couple of kids on the beach that are in the same situation we are, waiting on housing. So they have been out in the water all day trying to get some fish, all they have really seen are two small sharks! Go figure right!!!!!
The baby and I are doing fine. We are both growing! I am 15 weeks and 3 days now. I need to make a appointment to go get seen next week, and maybe just maybe we will be able to see what the sex of the baby is.. I am excited about that. I want to know, I can't imagine the thought of not knowing. Now watch the baby will not cooperate and we will not know. If the baby continues on the same trail, we will not find out! At my old job we used to play around and take pictures on the ultrasound machine all the time, and the last couple of times we did that, the baby would be playing with the cord and jerking it everywhere! It is so cute to watch him/her to do that. I have pictures of the baby stroking its head, of it sucking it's thumb, of the baby playing with the cord and plenty more!!!
Well Nathan is still down at the beach and I will admit I am getting nervous with me not being down there with him, so I am going to go and I will be in touch soon! I miss you guys and will try to stop by and see each of you real soon!
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