Completely shocked

Last night my life changed. I got a phone call from Ray yesterday telling me that Nathan got into a little trouble yesterday for smacking his little "girlfriend" on the behind while on the playground. The guidance counselor would like to talk to us about this in a conference the following day. Ok so I kind of blew it off, because seriously come on now they are kids, she was kicking him in the shins (he has bruises to prove it) and he smacked her on her bottom while playing... At 8:45 last night I get a phone call from the guidance counselor. Nathan may possibly be getting kicked out of school, or worse for this sexual harassment case that they have started against him! He is in the 5th grade!!!!! He did this in plain view of everyone on the playground, I hardly doubt he meant any harm considering this.... Needless to say I am freaking out over this.... Anyway the meeting is at 11:00 are time. Please keep us in your prayers today!
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Well the meeting is over and I feel so much better about everything. When we got there the guidance counselor was being such a jerk, it was like he was really out to get Nathan at first, since he knows nothing about my son up until yesterday! The meeting involved just his teacher, the guidance counselor and the principal along with Ray and I.

Once we got in there and started talking to the principal I found out that protocol was not followed, and the guidance counselor did not inform her of the situation immediately and she was not informed until 2 hours before the meeting, strike one for him. So when he started talking about the situation that happened yesterday and he told them all that Nathan lied about doing it at first...I said yes he did because you told him that he could go to jail for touching a little girl on the butt.... he was too scared at that point to say anything. Which is completely against state policy when interviewing a young child. Strike two for him. We then talked about how all of the other students heard one of the little kids tell him to do it and that was addressed as well. (I do not make excuses for him, he did smack her on the bottom which was wrong and he knows that) I then asked them if they knew that the little girl was kicking him in the shins and that they were playing while she and Nathan were doing this. The guidance counselor did know about this but the others in the room did not. Strike three for him. His teacher said "he wouldn't tell me that yesterday because they like each other". I said exactly he did not want to get her into trouble. I was also told that the same little boy that told him to do it was the same little boy who told on him and is the same little kid that likes Nathan's little "girlfriend". Then the principal said so these two were really just playing and meant no harm to each other! She told us that she was really having a hard time understanding this because she could not see Nathan doing this because he was such a good kid and that it made more sense now that it was a completely different story now. He was not being rude or malicious at all.

By the end of the meeting everything was dropped and he would be getting into trouble along with the little girl, for "not keeping there hands to themselves and for hitting" which he did do and I was fine with that. But not the other.
The guidance counselor did put the sexual harassment referral in his electronic chart which he should not of done until after the principal was told and the investigation was completed and when he tried to take it out, he could not and found out that it would be permanently in Nathan's file. Strike four for him..... I was not happy about that at all and made it very clear. It is now his job to get it out of his chart and trust me I will be on top of that situation!!!!!!! I will not leave this island with that crap in Nathan's chart! It will follow him for the rest of his school days..

I was on line last night and it only made me freak out even more about the situation but when Ray read the forms we printed them out and we were ready for a fight if needed. It states clearly that the school must have signs posted in every building about sexual harassment and that they must provide classes to teach small children what the guidelines were. We knew Nathan has never been in any such class and that there weren't any signs at the school either. (We looked on our way in just to make sure, there weren't any in the office either) there were a couple other rules that were not being followed and we did bring those to there attention, since the guidance counselor was being such a jerk and this is one of his roles at the school. If kids at this age are going to be expected to follow these rules then they need to be properly informed about what is Ok in school and what is not.

As a parent I know to teach my child if someone touches them in there privates that this is never Ok. If someone makes comments that make me feel uncomfortable that this is not ok. But did I ever think to tell my son, that it is considered sexual harassment to smack a little girl on the butt while playing. Considering this is an every day occurrence in sports. No I didn't and until yesterday both of these little kids (well his whole class) had no idea that was a problem. To them they were just playing, which is what the kids told the teacher yesterday.

We were told that the principal was now in the process of setting up a class for this, she has plans on separating the boys and the girls so they could talk about this. Apparently this was not the first occurrence of this sorts that they had problems with this last year as well!!! No joke. So instead of addressing it last year they will now.

So there is the end to my stressful day! No huge battle, just a little hump in the road. Count it as a lesson well learned for my son!


Just a little side note, I read the comments about the young boys and the JackA@@ show, I have not found it yet but plan on reading it, but in our local news paper there was an article about how the this state has not been taking sexual harassment very serious and at one of the high school 3 girls were confronted by a boy and they went through the proper channels when each situation happened and nothing happened to the boy. When it finally got through the chain of command, it was addressed for the whole state. Which is why things are like they are at our elementary schools now. I guess the question is where do you actually draw the line?