Mommy Talk

OK FIRST THINGS FIRST HAS ANY ONE ELSE NOTICED MY BABY TICKER? IT SAYS THAT I AM 3 WEEKS AND 0 DAYS AND I HAVE 62 DAYS LEFT... WHICH I AM REALLY 31 WEEKS AND 1 DAY AND I HAVE 61 DAYS LEFT! SAD THING IS I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FIX IT WITHOUT CHANGING THE WHOLE THING AGAIN! GO FIGURE!


July 16: What sacrifices have you made as a SAHM or a Working Mom?

Well I can honestly say that I had forgotten all about doing this, then it hit me! Yes It has been one of those days.....

I was a single mom when I had Nathan so being a SAHM was not an option for me, I had to work. I was very lucky in that my grandma, who was my best friend, was getting over an illness and needed around the clock care. She was eligible for in home care and they would pay someone to do this for her. So I did it, I was able to keep my grandma out of a nursing home, which was very important to me, and at the same time get to spend time with Nathan as well. It was very good for my grandma and I would not of done things differently. It was convenient for everyone involved, my great aunts would help out when Nathan was sick, or needed to go to one of his endless doctor appointments.
When my grandma got to where she could spend the night alone I moved out of her house and into an apartment that was right behind her, so she would still have someone close by but she would have her independence too. Nathan and I were still over there everyday so I'm not sure how that worked out for her. I know she loved having him around. If I would take a shower and he would be asleep in his room he would escape from my house and run to hers. It was so frustrating, but we could not break him of it, (my grandma was blind so it got kind of scary for him to do that). I then started working with disabled children and did respite care with them. I worked with two foster kids, that lived in the same house and we all went to the same church so I would bring Nathan to work with me then, because he was actually good therapy for the kids! They loved him. Rodney was blind and had CP, along with fetal alcohol syndrome and a cleft lip and pallet and the list goes on, but he would hear Nathan coming up to the house and just start screaming and laughing, he couldn't wait for him to come inside and play with him. He became very protective of Rodney and Amanda if anyone even looked at the kids too long, he was telling them that they were ok, that they just were a little different, like Amanda hasn't learned to walk yet but she can clap her hands and then he would get her to do it, it was so funny to watch him with them. Its like this little three year old didn't even see there disabilities and he was trying to make everyone else understand it was ok.
I then started nursing school after taking care of the kids for 2 years and I had to put Nathan in daycare/preschool. Which he hated every minute of it. I loved being social but he hated that when we came home, I had homework and couldn't play with him like we used to. I would still make time for him, but it was different.
From then on out he has been in daycare and I have worked my butt off to make ends meet, when we moved to Florida, I hated it, I didn't get to pick him up until almost 6 and by the time we were home, dinner homework and a bath, it was time for him to go to bed and I was just exhausted. I hated it, I was always so stressed out because of money issues, and we couldn't always do the things that he wanted to do. We had fun but it wasn't easy. I then started doing a little in home care for an elderly lady and I would work my day shift job and then come and get Nathan do dinner really quick he would shower and I would be at her house for a 12 hour night shift, with Nathan. He would stay there with me and her family was great! They would take him everywhere with them and then I still took care of there mom and got to spend time with Nathan. I would make a pallet on the floor and he would sleep there in the room with me and then he would get up and then we would run get breakfast and then I would take him back to school, and I was off for my day time job. It was crazy for about 8 months like that.
Then when I moved to Virginia with Ray, I got to be a true stay at home mom, and it was nice to be home when he got home and there was less stress and I feel like finally at age 10 I got to enjoy my son again. It was nice, and even when I started working again it was easier, because I didn't have to work as hard and if I didn't want to work the extra hours I didn't, it wasn't that I had to so I could pay rent or something.
But when I got pregnant with this one and we moved to Hawaii, well I think that not working has almost drove me crazy! LOL I need to work! I am so going crazy in this house! I am baby sitting a little boy three days a week now but even with that, Nathan is gone all day playing with the neighborhood boys, which he has never been able to do before, so he is never home!!!! Makes me being a SAHM pointless, at least that is how I feel. I still never see him! lol....

With baby number 2 I think things will be much easier! I hope anyways, I'm not sure that I can do that with 2 kids.