So frustrated!

I am so frustrated that I could cry again. This morning I was woke up by the phone and it was my new job, you know the one that I applied for back in June and got but had to wait on all of the paperwork to be finished. You know the one that assured me over and over again that is was no problem that I was pregnant.... This morning, she calls and tells me that I still have the job but they want to wait until after I come off of maternity leave to start my training..... OK fine but I turned down two other jobs, for this job... I could of been working by now and making a little extra cash that we needed! All I could do was cry!

I then texted message Ray and tell him and ask him if he wants me to start looking for something else, his only reply was if you want to, its up to you! Not what I needed too hear, because now I feel like I have to look. So I go online and start looking for a job, something part time or something like that and I get three calls back and as soon as I tell them that my due date is in 6 weeks they tell me that it would just be better for them if I wait until I am ready to come back to work. I even went as far as talking to someone down the street who owns a local bakery, and needed part time help, she even turned me down.

Yep I starting crying again. I really do not want to call Ray back and tell him this. Money is tight, it is not so tight that we are not making it but it is too close for comfort, not to mention the fact that we are both used to having the extra money around to go do things at our free will and not worry about it and now with the baby coming we both feel the crunch!

So again I am so frustrated!!!!! And if I have to hear Nathan say "mom can we go to the beach again today?" one more time, I will loose my mind... I took him and a littel friend yesterday and we spent 3 hours there and I didn't put sunblock on because we had shade, bad idea, I am so sunburned on my thighs, my stomach and my back, so when little Cale moves, he stretches out the skin on my tummy and it hurts!!!!!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok so after a long day of trying to find another job because of what little comment Ray had said that hurt my feelings. There was no luck... I do not think I have told you this but Nathan has been grabbling with a friend, which is kind of a mix between karate take downs and wrestling. Since he loves wrestling and has not been able to do that since we got here, he is loving it. He asked if he could spend the night down there and I said yes. Which was good, after dinner Ray I had a chance to talk about his little comment. Apparently that is the problem with emails, text messages and so on, you can not hear the tone of the person leaving you the message. He explained to me that he is fine with me not working, and he thinks it makes sense, but if I feel like I want to, he is not going to try to stop me. He reassured me that things are fine, yes they may be a little tighter than we are used to but we are by no means in trouble. So yes after I dried my tears one more time, I felt like a complete fool for over reacting. I again remembered why I wanted to have this man's baby, he may be ruff around the edges but he is a good provider. He loves us and will do what ever it takes to take care of us!