Another ski trip

Well yesterday was Nathan's birthday and he loves to go snowboarding so at the last minute we have pulled off a weekend get away for Nathan since we all had the long weekend, we decided to surprise him with it last minute... So this morning is a mad dash to get out of the house and on the slopes. Can you guys believe that my OB doctor said that it was perfectly fine for me to go skiing. I was kind of surprised so my plan is to go and take it easy. If I feel like it I will ski if not I have a book just in case. LOL. Things are good here, just busy with moving and everything. I have had a nasty bladder infection complete with fever and nausea. The infection is a weird strand of bacteria, the doctor is not sure how I got it, I was told that this is usually found in your intestines so its odd to find it in my bladder, unfortunately the only drugs that will cure it are the ones that I am not aloud to take because of the baby. Go figure!

I need to go, I will send out pictures as soon as we get back!!!!

updates

Ok sorry for the disappearing act. Things are much better here. Ray and I have worked things out and we are planning on leaving for Hawaii on March 27th. And also getting married. He has already bought the tickets so there is no backing out now.
As for the unexpected present we got, well the shock has worn off and we are doing fine now. It is actually a good thing now (don't get me wrong when I say that). Ray couldn't be happier to be having a baby with me. I went to the doctor and I am 8weeks and 3 days give or take a few days. Things changed greatly that day. I will fill you in on all the details later for now I must go.
Hope all is well with each of you! I will stop by and say hello this week.

My news

ok ladies.... Here goes the explanation for my previous blog. There is no easy way to say this but I am pregnant!!!! Ok the bad part is I am not married to Ray (most of you knew that), but I want to be, so that means he will be getting transferred to Hawaii in March and if I go I have no medical insurance to cover my pregnancy. If I stay then he doesn't get to be a part of it. And so on and so on. The list of troubles just seems to be getting bigger. I was already contemplating on whether or not I should go and now it just got a little harder. Do we plan on getting married, yes one day (plan was after we got to Hawaii). We've talked about it over and over again, how much he wants to marry me. Even though we haven't been together that long, and I guess that's why I love him. Do I want to only get married because of a baby? NO, but he suggested it, and maybe it wouldn't be just for the baby. So I feel stuck! Which has caused problems between me and Ray which makes moving an even harder decision. Everything is just truly a mess right now and honestly I have no one to blame but myself. So there we have it Ladies. Please pick your mouths up off the floor now! lol.

The next question to answer is how far along are you?!? Well according the ultrasound that we (the girls in my office did last week) I am around 10 weeks. But we go on Wednesday to see the doctor which will give me the due date.

Just when you think things could get no worse

Well that pretty much says it all for me since I last wrote. Just when you think things could get no worse they do.... I have had the worst two weeks you could image. I'm not real sure where to start but I am asking you for your prayers. I have alot of decisions to make and I am not sure what will be the best ones to make. Have you ever felt trapped? Well that is me. I feel like no matter what i choose to do I am screwed. Trust me when I say things are not good here on the home front.

I need to go run some errands but I will be back later tonight to try to explain all this.

How did I become such an entertainer?

It amazes me that we have been entertaining so many people at our house lately. It seems like I come home and hear those dreaded words "hey honey, H and H are coming over again tonight for dinner." Or "all the guys are coming over to play cards tonight". I love it... My latest favorite one was "hey the guys are coming over for dinner tonight and we are gonna play some card games, so I will be home in a little bit" (this was Friday) then I get told by my son that on Saturday that the guys are all coming over again because we are gonna play with the remote control cars! It amazes me that all of a sudden we have so many people over here. It is kind of funny to see them all over here playing with Nathan too. I think that it is just mentally exhausting. I want to sit in my house all by myself for 10 minutes please..... LOL

I feel like my head is going to explode

This is a picture of Nate, Ray and I that was taken over the holidays. Just thought I would share it with you! I used to be able to put the pictures where I wanted them but now I can't seem to do that. Oh well.

Well first things first. Thank you guys for all the encouragement on the upcoming move. There is so much to do and I am still freaking out just thinking about it. But I went to the doctor and she diagnosed me with migraines and borderline depression. I laughed and explained to her what was going on and said "gees now I have a headache" I said so I do not think the depression is much to worry about. I will be fine with that when I move. She agreed after hearing my story! As for the headaches she gave me so very nice pills that seem to be working and some meds to help me sleep. Apparently migraines and lack of sleep go hand and hand. Since I hate taking pills I have not tried the Ambien but I know that it works great! I just hate to take pills!!

I hope everyone is enjoying there weekend, we have been busy as usual. Yesterday I worked from home for 8 hours and then Ray and Nathan took there remote control cars/trucks to the track to play with (they have a gas powered one and 4 battery operated ones) it gives them something that they can do together. But can I ask you guys something? Is this normal: Ray is not Nathan's bio dad, as you know, but it seems like every time Ray tries to do something with Nathan he bucks him in any way possible. It is like he can do nothing to satisfy him, its never good enough. Yesterday they spent the whole entire day together and things were fine, they both said they had fun, but as soon as I am in the picture Nate gets an attitude. I really think that Nate gets jealous when I am around. This morning we got up and had breakfast and Ray said Nate come on buddy lets go get our bikes and we are gonna go get Hutton (one of his marines) and go out for a while on our bikes. Nate thru a fit he didn't want to go. When Ray went outside I sat Nathan down and said "what is your deal?" I explained to him that he told me that he wanted someone that he could call his own, who would do things with him and not leave him out of the pictures and now that he has it he keeps pushing it away. He stopped and said with big tears in his eyes "no I'm not!" I then explained to him that Ray tries so hard to make sure that he is involved in everything that he does. I asked Nate to tell me how many times does Ray go Hang out with the boys and not bring him and he goes well he always takes me. Then I asked him why he was pushing him so hard. He told me he didn't know. But when Ray came back inside Nathan was a totally different kid. He told Ray he was sorry and the look of confusion on his face was pretty funny. So is normal or what? My parents are still together so I do not know what it feels like to go through what Nate is dealing with since his sperm donor is not in the picture. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Don't get me wrong Nathan is an amazing little boy, and I love him so much but he just acts so much older than he his sometimes he has so much knowledge beyond his years. Its kind of scarey, it easy to forget he is only ten when you talking to him.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! I know that we did. We got to spend time with our family and friends, since we are moving soon it was very nice. I of course can only say that now that it is over! LOL. On New Year's Eve we spent the night playing dominos with our neighbors and my parents. Nathan stayed up until after 2:00 in the morning. I was proud of him, but the last round of the mexican train that he played he was struggling to keep his eyes open. It was very cute!
I finally broke down and told my parents, while they were here, that we are moving to Hawaii in March. They took the news good. My mom cried and said no you are not moving, I'm mot letting you and in the same breath asked if she could come too. My dad who is very quiet anyway just simply "that's a long way from home." I will be honest that broke my heart because I knew what he wasn't saying. I am now and will always be daddy's little girl, I hate to see him hurt. So now the mad dash begins. I am still freaking out everytime I think about it. Not to mention we have to squeeze in a snow boarding trip, a trip to West Virginia and a trip to Florida all before March and still try to save money! We promised Nathan a ski trip this year and we can not back out of that . Oh I haven't told you this, we told Nathan that we are moving too. He was not so happy about it at first. His remarks were "mom, that is the third move I have made, I don't want to move anymore." Which any mom in the military nows what that does to your heart. He came around once we showed him pictures of Hawaii. I told him we had to look at this as a extended vacation and that we would make new friends there and then promised him while we were in Florida that he could go visit his old friends there. He is such a good kid. I love him so much! The only people that I have not told yet is the people at work, which will be the hardest. I love those girls and I do not want to leave them. It makes me cry just to think about it.
Enough about all of that. I have to go to the doctor today. I am not looking forward to it, but it is well over due. I have not been to the doctor for a well visit in like 6 years. I am now at the point where I have had a headache for the last 6 months. I can not take it anymore. I hate taking pills and I know that she is gonna make me take something but then again since I feel like I have bought stock in the Advil industry, I should probably just go ahead and get something that will work.
So I will let you all know what the doctor says. Talk to you soon!

OK finally I have a minute to sit down and do this! Every time I have tried to sit down and actually say hello to everyone out here in blog land, I am interrupted with someone who needs.

I wanted to share my favorite picture of Christmas with you all! This is my son with his new coat and his new guitar hero game sitting in his bedroom! I thought that this was just the cutest thing ever. Let me explain why: we all grew up in the country and now what it means to be a "country boy/girl" but Nathan has never truly lived in the country, he will go home to spend the summer with my parents but that is it. Family back home call him a "little surfer dude" or a "beach baby" and then our friends at our home call him a little country boy stuck in a beach body. So he has adapted to his surroundings right. Then I go and find him looking like this! Now ladies this is my little boy... Anyway its cute to me!

I hope everyone enjoyed there Christmas, I know we did. Ray's mom came up to visit us for the holiday, so we got to spend Christmas with her. We also had dinner for all the marines that did not go home for Christmas for whatever reason. Yes, I know why the little lady in Pensacola, FL told me that "if you get involved with someone in the military, then you had better get used to being put on the spot and have to entertain them boys." She was right, I found out that we were having company come over the Friday night before Christmas! After the initial freak out I was fine! I did not have enough food for everyone. LOL! Our solution: go buy two ducks and deep fry those things. LOL.. I know that sounds disgusting but oh my goodness were they ever good. And not to mention that I always have turkey for the holiday but this year I had decided to make my first ever ham and it tasted so good! I was very pleased with the dinner. I got rid of my leftovers (for the most part) by giving the marines that came over a big plate full of food to take back to the barracks so that they would have something to eat!

Well I have put it off long enough! I had told a few of you that we might be getting stationed in Hawaii and now it is official We are moving to Hawaii in March!!!! Yep that is right, I am doing another freak out! I have so much to do and not enough time to do it in. We have not told Nathan that we are going and plan on waiting until we have a date so he will not tell my parents who by the way are not happy about the possibility. Since they are on there way to my house now we will wait to tell them so we do not upset our weekend with them. I am happy and sad all at the same time. Let me explain: see we just moved here last March and Nathan really likes this school and I hate to move him again. I love my job, I mean really love my job and the girls I work with. I have never had a set of friends like them and I hate to leave them! So here I am with this exciting move coming up and I can not tell my parents, my son, my job and my friends because they will all be sad and mad and hurt all at the same time!!!! But seriously I am moving to Hawaii how cool is that!!!!

The other down side to that is that I am way out of shape and what used to be muscle has turned into fat! I have managed to make my self sick at the thought so I now have to loose some weight and get into shape. I only need to loose like 10 pounds which won't be hard but oh my goodness my body looks horrible. I am so out of shape. I am so mad at myself for letting myself go and look like this. So for the last 4 days I have been at the gym trying to fix this problem before we leave. Wish me luck, it's not gonna be easy!!!

If I do not get a chance to talk to you all I wish you all a very Happy New years!

Christmas time

I know that I am late on this but this is our Christmas tree, if it looks like the star is drooping to one side well it is.. Our tree is dying on us! Gotta love real trees. But I do not care. I love Christmas, it is my favorite holiday. The other picture is of the buffet in my dinning room. I love the willow tree figures and I only started collecting them last year, so far I have the friendship figure, that my friend bought me last year for Christmas. Ray and Nathan bought me the mother and son figure for mother's day. My friend, Jen, bought me the caring heart figure for Christmas this year (we both work in the cardiology dept.) I bought myself the nativity scene for myself this year and I am not suppose to know but Ray's mom bought me the 3 wise men set. I am so excited!!!!!

I love to decorate for this season our whole house is decorated. Although most of my stuff is still in Florida, we made the best of it and I went and bought some new things... Not so sure what I will do next year when I have both sets of decorations though...

Things are much better here now. I have been very stressed out. We still do not know if we are moving yet or not, we know we will be moving but we do not know when it could be in 2 months or it could be in 7 months. it is very frustrating, which i am sure every military family knows. So you put Christmas and family coming in on top of that and you will know why I have been so stressed out!

I forgot to tell you guys that I finally got the Lasik eye procedure done. I have wanted to do it for so long and last Saturday I did it. I am so happy.. My eye sight is so much better now. I do not have 20/20 vision yet but man is it better. It was not nearly as painful as I thought that it would be. I slept most of Saturday and was fine from there on. I had really dry eyes and then we figured out that I was allergic to the eye drops and after I stopped taking those things have been awesome... So now I am working on getting my last wisdom tooth pulled out. Yes I chickened out on going back to the dentist like 5 years ago, and now it is giving me problems!

If I do not get a chance to see you all before Christmas Merry Christmas!!!!! I have to go watch a movie with Ray and his mom Talk to you soon!

My day

I am so sad today and really do not feel like saying much right now. I will say this; things are not good here and I am not sure what to do about it. Sorry to be a Debbie downer. Talk to you all real soon.

I wish you enough

I received this email this morning and I almost cried while reading it and I wanted to share it with you guys. I am not sure if you have already read it before but I hope you enjoy.

Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough". The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom". They kissed and the daughter left.
The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?".

Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?". "I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said. "When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?". She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone".
She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said , 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them.
TAKE TIME TO LIVE.....
To all my friends and loved ones,
I WISH YOU ENOUGH

Updates on Me

Well just let me say if not being able to sign in on my blog for a while was not bad enough, what ever made me think that I could change my look and everything would work out! I do not know because I have changed my look with no problem, but when I tried to add my links, just like I was instructed, they won't show up. So Glo, I know your pain because now I say CHARLA PLEASE HELP ME!!! I love her to death and I would not know what to do without her on this site!
Since I mentioned Charla, I hope she is enjoying Oklahoma. I received a Christmas card in the mail the other day from here and I had to chuckle because I noticed that she did not have a address yet! I only laugh because I know soon, I will be doing the same thing. I am really proud of her, since we came from the same town and pretty much had the same set of friends, I know how scary it is too move. I am really proud of her for taking that step! I always told her that there was so much freedom in moving away from there, do not get me wrong, I miss and love my family very much. But it is good to stand on your own for a little while without the parents there to help out all the time. Or at least that is how I felt, and from what I am hearing from Charla she too understands what I mean. So again I am proud of you and wish you and Steve the best of luck! You never know we might be stationed somewhere close by one day!
Ok, its back to what I have been doing. Let me just start off with this: It is Sunday morning, I am at home alone (with the dog), at there is no noise! There is no "MOM will you come help me with this" or Baby what are you doing?" Nothing, no noise except for the dog cleaning his feet! LOL I am so excited! Ray and Nathan went bike riding today with one of the gunny sgt. They decided to bring Nate along so he could ride the jumps! I am only praying that he does not get hurt! Every time they go do the boy thing, I get scared, the last time they did this it was a paintball excursion. My 10 year old boy with 15 marines in a battle town. Can we say unqualified! He had a blast though! They all took care of him and made sure that he didn't get hurt! Can you imagine my son with a bunch of marines in full gear shooting paintball guns, he came back with some nice bruises. This is with a bullet proof vest! So I hope they have fun!
Work has been crazy. I love it there but it is always so busy! Maybe that is why I like. We see on an average 36 patients a day which may not sound like alot but that is 36 EKG's and 36 ECHO's (ultrasound of the heart). It gets very hectic, plus the phone calls, the refills, prepping charts for the next day and so on. Not to mention all the breaks to sit and chit chat for a few minutes. We all know to keep your sanity you have to have that!
Friday night was our Christmas party and we had such a good time, we had the party at one of the doctor's house we had all of the kids playing in the game room and upstairs while all the adults hung out on the other side of the house. The doc had a shuffle board table, which I love to play and we had soo much fun beating him at that game. I will brag on Nate for a minute, with all the kids at the party it got a little loud with all of the running and so on. But I told Nathan once to stop and he did just that stopped. He ended up playing shuffle board with one of the teenagers most of the night. I was very proud of him!
Nathan and I both had dentist appointments on Friday so I did not send him to school but he did go into to work with me, he has fun when we do that we have 6 doctors in our practice. So he has plenty to keep him busy! I am going to brag on him again. We went and bought 3 little kids Christmas and wrapped them up to give to the lady at the hospital. He had so much fun making sure that those kids would have a good Christmas. It was nice to see that he didn't care that that meant he would not be getting as much because of that! It's little things like that that let me know I must be doing something right!
Well the biggest news that I can give you is we might be getting stationed in Hawaii. We will find out on the 15th if that is where we will be going. We are so excited. After looking at Michell's trip there I want to go even more. It would be a long way away from my family but dang it would be nice to live there for awhile. LOL. So keep that in your prayers please so we will have a smooth transition.
For now I need to go do some work for the office so I will talk to you all soon!

Holy Cow it finally let me sign back in.... I was so frustrated I could not get my blog to cooperate.

I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to write back. I have no excuse but I just got caught up in my everyday life. I still love my job. I love the people that I work with! Some of the girls have become very close to me.

I hope everyone is doing great and I will try to stop around to see everyone this weekend but for now I am off to the dentist office.

Military Wife

"Military Wife"

The good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, "Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one."

The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect hostess with an hour's notice, run on black coffee, handle emergencies without a manual, and she must be willing to move to a new location ten times in seventeen years."

The Lord continued, "We must give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband's achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it is overworked and be large enough to say,
'I Love You,' regardless."

"Lord," said the angel, touching his arm, "get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow."

"I can't stop now," said the Lord. "I am so close to creating something unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can wave goodbye to her husband from a pier, a runway, or a depot and understand why it's important that he leave."

The angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord's creation. "There's a leak," she announced. "Something is wrong with the construction. You are trying to put too much into this model."

"What you see is not a leak," the Lord said. "It's a tear."

"A tear? What is it there for?" asked the angel.

The Lord replied, "It's for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear."

"You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel.

The Lord looked puzzled and replied, "I didn't put it there."

-Author unknown




I am sure that you have all read this before but I just wanted to give praise to the military wives whose husband are away protecting our freedom while the wives are at home protecting there families..... I have the upmost respect for each and every one you!

Lovwe you guys.

Hello everyone!! It has been so crazy around here. Its funny how I have never met any one you out there in blog land but I miss you guys! LOL. I am loving my job. It is a field that I have never worked in, so there is so much for me to learn. I feel like a sponge that has been left in the water and can hold no more... It is truly so much information. I work in a pediatric cardiology office (I do not know if I told you that) so these little kids are so very complicated. It really makes you value your life a little more. Things that I take for granted, like walking up stairs, is something that some of these little guys will never be allowed to do. I want another baby. Hopefully I will get another one soon. The girls that I work with are all great. Its so nice to work in an office that feels like a family. Not to mention I am being productive. Yeah me!!!!!

OUCHHHHHHHH

Wow what a week this has been! It has been a week full of orientation and let me tell you that they are making sure we are well informed... They have given us so much information, I am on overload now. I came home one night and Ray tried to show me something and he had to tell me like 4 times before I would get it. It unfortunately had nothing to do with nursing and since it did not I could not get it!!

My job is the one that I have been waiting on. They called me and set up a orientation date well when it happened it felt like it happened so fast. Funny since I applied back in June! I am working in a high risk children's hospital. It seems to be a great hospital, they are very good and caring at what they do. The girls in my office seem sweet. They put a huge vase of flowers in my office and signs are every where in the clinic saying "welcome Michelle, we are so glad that you are finally here!" How funny is that!

Real quick before I leave, the title of my blog today is ouchhhhh. This is because I had to get shots yesterday... I now feel sorry for the little ones that go and get a series of vaccines in one day! I had to get my PPD (TB), MMR (measles, mumps and rubella) because my titer was low and if that was not bad enough they then told me that I had to get another series of the Hep B vaccines because of the same thing (low titer), then I took the Tdap (tetnus, diptheria, and pertusis) Can you believe there is another out break of whooping cough! That is crazy! So I got a total of 4 injections one right after another. The Tdap and MMR really hurt when they get into your system. Of course my body did not react so well to this. By the time I came home I had a temp of 102. Aches everywhere and I had hives yes I am allergic to one of them. Which one I have no idea!!!! I feel alot better today but my arms are so sore!! Yes I am crying like a baby this hurts! I feel sorry for those little guys now! LOL.

Well off to work I go!

I was M.I.A.

Hey girls I am sorry I have not been around but things have been busy here. I started my new job today and so far I like it! I will try to get caught up on all of my blog reading but until then I love you guys and take care!!

I wish you a sandpiper

The Sandpiper
by Robert Peterson

She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near
where I live.

I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles,
whenever the world begins to close in on me. She was building a sand castle or
something and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea.

"Hello," she said.

I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.

"I'm building," she said.

"I see that. What is it?" I asked, not really caring.

"Oh, I don't know, I just like the feel of sand."

That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes.

A sandpiper glided by. "That's a joy," the child said.

"It's a what?"

"It's a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy."

The bird went gliding down the beach. Good-bye joy, I muttered to myself,
hello pain, and turned to walk on. I was depressed, my life seemed
completely out of balance.

"What's your name?" She wouldn't give up.

"Robert," I answered. "I'm Robert Peterson."

"Mine's Wendy... I'm six."

"Hi, Wendy."

She giggled. "You're funny," she said.

In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on. Her musical giggle followed me.

"Come again, Mr. P," she called. "We'll have another happy day."

The next few days consisted of a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA meetings,
and an ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as I took my hands out
of the dishwater. I need a sandpiper, I said to myself, gathering up my coat.
The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me. The breeze was chilly but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed.

"Hello, Mr. P," she said. "Do you want to play?"

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.

"I don't know. You say."

"How about charades?" I asked sarcastically.

The tinkling laughter burst forth again. "I don't know what that is."

"Then let's just walk."

Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face. "Where do you live?" I asked.

"Over there." She pointed toward a row of summer cottages.

Strange, I thought, in winter.

"Where do you go to school?"

"I don't go to school. Mommy says we're on vacation."

She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was
on other things. When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day.
Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed.

Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic. I was in no
mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt
like demanding she keep her child at home.

"Look, if you don't mind," I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me, "I'd
rather be alone today." She seemed unusually pale and out of breath.

"Why?" she asked.

I turned to her and shouted, "Because my mother died!" and thought, My God, why was I saying this to a little child?

"Oh," she said quietly, "then this is a bad day."

"Yes," I said, "and yesterday and the day before and -- oh, go away!"

"Did it hurt?" she inquired.

"Did what hurt?" I was exasperated with her, with myself.

"When she died?"

"Of course it hurt!" I snapped, misunderstanding, wrapped up in myself. I strode off.

A month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she
wasn't there. Feeling guilty, ashamed, and admitting to myself I missed her,
I went up to the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door. A drawn
looking young woman with honey-colored hair opened the door.

"Hello," I said, "I'm Robert Peterson. I missed your little girl today and wondered where she was."

"Oh yes, Mr. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of you so much. I'm afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance, please, accept my apologies."

"Not at all -- she's a delightful child." I said, suddenly realizing that I meant what I had just said.

"Wendy died last week, Mr. Peterson. She had leukemia. Maybe she didn't tell you."

Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. I had to catch my breath.

"She loved this beach, so when she asked to come, we couldn't say no. She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days.

But the last few weeks, she declined rapidly..." Her voice faltered, "She left
something for you, if only I can find it. Could you wait a moment while I look?"

I nodded stupidly, my mind racing for something to say to this lovely young
woman. She handed me a smeared envelope with "MR. P" printed in bold
childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues-- a yellow beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed:

A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and a heart that had almost forgotten to love
opened wide. I took Wendy's mother in my arms. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,
I'm so sorry," I uttered over and over, and we wept together.

The precious little picture is framed now and hangs in my study. Six
words -- one for each year of her life -- that speak to me of harmony, courage, and
undemanding love.

A gift from a child with sea blue eyes and hair the color of sand -- who taught me the gift of love.


----------------------------------------------------------------------


NOTE: This is a true story sent out by Robert Peterson. It
happened over 20 years ago and the incident changed his life forever. It
serves as a reminder to all of us that we need to take time to enjoy living and
life and each other.

The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.
Life is so complicated, the hustle and bustle of everyday traumas
can make us lose focus about what is truly important or what is only a
momentary setback or crisis.

This week, be sure to give your loved ones an extra hug, and by all means,
take a moment... even if it is only ten seconds, to stop and smell the roses.
This comes from someone's heart, and is read with many and now I share it with you...
May God bless everyone who receives this! There are NO coincidences!

Everything that happens to us happens for a reason. Never brush aside
anyone as insignificant. Who knows what they can teach us?

What A Relaxing Weekend

Wow it is amazing how much better you feel after a relaxing weekend! We had such a good time this weekend, nothing major happened. We just got to enjoy each others company and it can't get much better than that! Did I ever tell you guys how Ray told me he loved me? We were only a few months into our relationship when he told me he loved me and before we knew it, we were moving in with each other only 4 months into it. Awww I know. LOL. This is will not be an exciting post today.

Friday night Ray and I simply made dinner at home and watched a movie, which is always a nice way to unwind. I sat and listened to him go on and on about the stresses of his week. Which he does a lot. We talked about it and I gave him the objective opinions that I am so good at, you know like well do you think maybe he is harder on you because he knows and expects better from you so when you give him something that is not right or messed up for whatever reason, you get a negative response and the other guy he just over looks (which is his normal). Your boss is always telling you how neat and how he likes how you have changed everythig right? I usually get a look followed with ok I can give him that! But it is very important to listen, this I am learning. Being able to put your stress aside and listen to his and make sure he knows that they matter is not something that always comes natural to women. We for the most part see them as the rock in the relationship if you will, and its easy to forget that men have stress and when they will actually talk about it you have to let them!!!! Hope that made sense! But anyhoo take that as free advice!!!

Saturday we simply woke up, he made me breakfast which is normal for us. I cook all week and he makes breakfast on the weekends. It works for us, but of course I don't work. We went to see Talladega Nights, the Nascar movie. I am not really a Nascar fan. I was out numbered so I had to get used to it. The movie was one of those stupid funny kind of movies. I was definitely a movie I wanted to see but I just do not think I would want to see it twice! We then came home jumped on the motorcycle and went for a ride, he drove, we went to an outdoor store yes most men's paradise!!! I think we spent two hours in that store! Me bored out of my mind. It was complete with an aquarium and rock climbing wall and more. We did a quick dinner and a restaurant near by, then home to grab the dog, and the car and off to the beach we go... There is just something about walking on the beach late at night! It is so relaxing, I love living by the water. We had so much fun with the dog out there. He did such a good job. I was so proud of him. Bo, is his dog. He played with his Frisbee and completely ignored all the other dogs and for a Pitt that is good and almost unheard of! We then came home and attempted to put Bo in the house and he noticed that I did not get out of the car so he stood by the door waiting for me. It was so cute! So when Ray tried to put him in his kennel he shot out the door and jumped in the car and got in the back seat and sat there so pretty. We tried to call him and he would turn his head and look away from us like I do not hear you!! The dog won he got to go get ice cream with us! What a spoiled dog!!!

Sunday was simply I cleaned house, as usual, and he fixed 4-wheeler! We did go to the craft store and I bought stuff to make candles. I am so excited so tomorrow look for pictures of the candles!!

I warned you nothing exciting in this post

This what I found on the refrigerator Sunday evening! Isn't he sweet!!!

What a weird day

Well I am short on time today but I just wanted to give a real quick update on the job interview today: I went and the position is for a clinic and they said that I could work on some nights until 10:30. That is a long day for a doctor's office, I think. Plus you would work weekends. Call me crazy but dang!!!! So we will see. I have decided that I will wait until Monday and if I do not hear back from the human resource department then I will call back on Tuesday and see if I can go and get the packet on my own. What do you think is that being to pushy or am I ok with doing that? Please be honest with me....

You know how some people are blessed with grace to deal with situations and you just look at them and say how did you do that and be so nice and caring about it? I do not think I could do that,kind of situation. Well I had one of those today and it kind of surprised myself. Still not sure what to think about it! Let me explain.

A little while back Ray received a phone call from a girl in his past, she was crying to him about her problems, (yes she is a ex's of his!) He of course tells me about the phone call and my response was why is she calling you? That is not your place anymore. He said I know that and I told her that same thing. I trust him and all that so we were ok. But I'm not wrong in thinking that is not ok. As he is telling me about her little problem I say well if she calls again let me talk to her and I will help her, but he knows I always do this kind of thing. So now with saying that--today Ray comes home from lunch and says while he is holding his phone, remember when you said bla bla bla, well meet my ex!!!! He then hands me the phone and I say hello and hear this girl crying on the other end. I say "honey what is wrong?" She spills her guts to me about her situation. I at this point am really dumb founded at all this. She is a single mother of a small daughter and is involved in a nasty relationship and does not know how to let go of this man even though she knows she needs to. I talk to her for 45 minutes then tell her that I need to go and she asks me if I would please call her back, I said ummmmmmm I guess I can if you need me to, I take her number and tell her goodbye.

I get off the phone thank Ray while laughing and say thanks for the warning! LOL. He said I knew you would know just what to say to her, your really good at that kind of stuff and they really listen to you when you talk to them that's why i love you so much. Thank you baby!

So after my job interview I get back in my car and I start to pray about this and he simply tells me "If I hadn't sent someone to you in your time of need what would of happened to you?" After I stopped crying and said but God this is too weird for me that is his ex girlfriend. I got over myself and found love for this girl who needed someone. I called her back as I promised and got her address so I could send her some CD's that really helped me in my past and talked to her for an hour, this girl is not saved and I got her the name and address of a church she is gonna go to, and then she tells me "You know when I called Ray today something told me that I was gonna talk to you and that you had something that I needed, I could feel it, and I just wanted to thank you for talking to me!"

Now is that grace or what!